The General and Her Jedi
by Sadainea
Summary: Now that the Battle of Crait is over, Rey and the rest of the Resistance are left floating through space in the Millenium Falcon with no where to go. What happens in the cramped ship when Rey has a nightmare?
1. Chapter 1

A/N - OK! So this is a first for me. I have never done a Star Wars fic before. So please be nice. I own none of the characters seen in this story, and all mistakes are my own. That being said, please Read and Review. It only take a second and it make my day!

oooOOOooo

Rey sat, crouched over in her AT-AT home with her head in her hands. Having mastered lucid dreaming, she knew that none of this was real. Logically she knew that anyway. She knew that she was aboard the _Falcon_ searching for a new base for the Resistance to call home for a while. This particular dream, one that she had been the victim of many times, was more of a memory than anything else. Fear gripped her heart. No matter how many times she was forced to relive this, it always terrified her as much as it did when it first happened. She had only been 12 when it happened, and she vowed then and there to never let herself get put in a position like that again. She learned quickly how to defend herself and how to avoid this ever happening, but how did a person fight a memory?

The dream normally came when she was extremely tired, or scared, and sometimes it happened when someone touched her in a way that made her incredibly uncomfortable. Having been surrounded by so many people on the ship that had too little space, she had been touched so many times that she had scrubbed herself down roughly in the bath, which was something new to her as well, to the point that he skin had turned red and raw. She hated feeling this way. Like she was something damaged and a fraud, so she never spoke about it. If no one knew what had happened, no one would shun her for being so broken, right?

"Where am I?"

Rey's head shot up and she stared at the back of a woman that she really did not want to be there. "General Organa?"

The elder woman turned, her eyes landing on Rey's face. "What in the world is going on, Rey? Where are we?"

"No, no no, you can't be here. Please, you have to leave." Rey stood and moved away from the general quickly, trying to put some distance between herself and the woman who she so greatly admired.

"Rey, you pulled me into this dream, we are both still asleep. I can't leave. You have to make me go." Leia stepped towards her, with her hands outstretched. "Why don't you tell me what is going on?"

"I can't. I-I can't. Please, don't make me."

"Alright," The general very carefully reached out and took Rey's arm, leading her back to her seat, before crouching in front of her, "Let's start easy then. Where are we, Rey? Can you tell me that much?"

"Jakku. This is where I used to live. It was my home until I got tangled up with BB-8 and met Finn and joined the Resistance. It's an old, rusted out AT-AT." Rey whispered into her hands, where her face had gone as soon as she had sat back down.

"You lived in an AT-AT?" Leia tried her hardest not to sound astonished, but it didn't work.

"It's not as bad as you think. Look around, there is actually quite a bit of room for a single person." Rey said and Leia had to admit, she was actually right.

"Alright, this dream we are in, is it a nightmare or a memory?" Leia probed gently.

"Both," Rey sighed and dropped her hands. Her eyes sought the general's and hazel locked with brown. "It's a nightmare, of a memory."

Leia brought her hands to Rey's and held them gently between her own. "How old were you in this memory?"

"It's hard to say." She waved towards a wall covered in small lines. "I was very young when my parents left me here. I didn't actually have any concept of time passing yet, and by the time it occurred to me to actually keep track, I didn't know my age, or my birthday. So I can only guess how old I am and how old I was then. I was 12, maybe 13 when I- when this happened."

"Oh Rey, I know that we don't talk much, and I know that we aren't particularly close, but you know that if you ever need someone to talk, about anything at all. You know you can come to me right?" Leia squeezed the young Jedi's hands between her own. Her heart hurt when she thought about this precious young woman, forced to grow up by herself, with no family to care for her, never shown any compassion or love at all.

"Don't worry. This isn't exactly normal. I won't bother you with it."

"Rey! I don't care if this is normal. It doesn't matter to me when you need to talk, or even if you just need someone to sit with you in the quiet. I am here for you."

"Thank you. I have actually never heard that before in my life. No one has ever offered to be my confidante about anything." Rey's head snapped up at the sound of a noise outside. "Oh no. No no no no no no. You can't see this. Please don't watch this."

The door to the AT-AT burst open and a very young looking Rey came in. she slung her pack onto the chair, it passed right through the older Rey sitting there. She slung herself into the hammock that hung in the corner and promptly fell asleep. Leia turned to Rey with a raised eyebrow, only to be met with tear filled eyes.

Moments later, the door slowly creaked open again and a man crept in. He rifled through the things in the small space and pocketed several items. As he made his way back to the door, a large orb, Rey didn't even remember what the stupid thing had been for or why she had kept it, fell from his pocket with a loud BANG. The sleeping teenager shot off her hammock and grabbed the first thing she could get ahold of, a sharp piece of metal with a leather handle that she had used for prying pieces of machinery apart.

The man flew towards her and she tried to fight him off. Chaos ensued. Leia's eyes followed what happened and watched very carefully as the man wrestled with the teenager, trying to pry the makeshift knife from her desperate fingers, all the while throwing her against walls and shelves, before Rey, in a surge of adrenaline and strength, pulled her knees into his chest and pushed. The man, Leia never saw his face but did notice the long, ugly scar on his arm, fell backwards, dragging a still fighting young Rey with him. What followed, was an odd squelching sound, and the man's eye going blank. His head fell back and his last breath left his lungs.

The younger version of the Jedi shoved herself off of him and walked backwards, her hands and clothes covered in blood. She fled.

Rey, the elder version, had her head in her hands again and was screaming. Begging someone to make it stop, to make her forget, but before Leia could reach for her to try and calm her down, she was ripped out of the dream and thrown back into her own mind, her body completely awake. Without thought, she tore off the sheets and blanket from her bed and ran from her room. On her way, following the sounds of a screaming young woman, she passed Po and Finn emerging from their shared storage room, who followed her to Rey's room. When they arrived at the door, and the boys were assured that Rey was not really in any danger, she waved them off, and told her that she would handle it. She stepped into Rey's bedroom, and took her by the shoulders.

"Rey, Rey! Wake up sweetheart, you're dreaming. Rey!" the young woman surged from the bed and right into Leia's arms, as if she instinctively knew who was waiting for her when she woke. The older woman held her as she sobbed, gently caressing her hair and whispering reassuring words in her ear. She had no idea how long she sat there, listening to the gut wrenching sobs of the Jedi, but she refused to move, her connection to the Force telling he that right now, all Rey needed was someone to hold her and let her cry. She could feel the agony and fear rolling off her in waves that would have crippled a grown man.

Finally, when Rey's sobs slowed to sniff and hiccups, Leia pulled away and cupped her cheeks between strong hands. "Talk to me, Rey. Tell me what you are thinking."

"I killed someone. I killed him and I don't know how to deal with it. Everyone thinks that I am this pillar of the Light and I'm not. I can't be." She hung her head, refusing to meet the older woman's gaze.

"Oh sweetheart, you were a child. You were defending yourself and your home. You did nothing wrong, and from what I saw, it was an accident." Leia brushed tendrils of sweaty brown hair away from a young face and lifted Rey's head with a gentle hand beneath her chin. "It was an accident." She whispered again, more firmly this time.

"How can you rationalize this? I murdered him. I'm a killer."

"No, you aren't. If you were, you wouldn't be this upset over it. You didn't murder him. Even in a court system, you would have been forgiven for this. He attacked you, not the other way around. He came into your home, and you defended it."

Rey sniffed and wiped her eyes. "On Jakku, if anyone had found out, I would have been punished, severely. I came back later and hid his body in an old Star Destroyer. I went there almost every day to scavenge parts and always made sure that he was never discovered."

"Rey, no one here would fault you. I understand that you don't want people as a general whole to know what happened, but you can always come find me. I know you didn't intend for me to find out either, but I don't blame you. I would have defended myself the same way in that situation." Leia wrapped the younger woman in her arms and held her, rocking her back and forth, trying her best to soothe the anxiety she could sense from her.

"Thank you." Rey could sense Leia was telling her the truth. She felt and odd comforting caress within her, gentle touches of Leia's mind against her's, reassuring her that she was safe, and she was cared for, something she had not experienced before the Resistance. She laid her head on Leia's shoulder, tucking her face against the older woman's neck and breathing her in. The smell of oil, dirt and something that Rey couldn't begin to describe filled her senses and calmed her wildly pounding heart.

Eventually, Leia pulled away. "I need to get back to my room. We are both tired, and we both need sleep."

Rey could only nod in response.

"If you need me, you know where I am."

The Jedi watched the elder woman leave and stood. It was still late. Most of the Resistance would be sleeping, but she didn't think she was going to get much more rest.

 _Rey._

That voice. Ben was trying to reach out to her. Did she have it in her to take another chance? Could she?

 _Rey, are you alright?_ He whispered into her mind.

 _I'm fine Ben._ She answered.

 _I could feel your fear. I thought something had happened._

 _Why do you care? We are on opposite sides of this war, remember?_ She sighed audibly into the room.

 _I-I know you don't trust me right now, but please, give me time and I will show you. I was worried about you when I felt how scared you were._

 _I appreciate you concern, Ben, I really do, but I'm fine. It was just a nightmare._ She scrubbed her hands over her face and sat down on the edge of her bed. _I have had that dream more times than I would care to remember._ She admitted.

 _Is this ok, Rey? Talking like this?_ His voice sounded hesitant.

 _I don't see why not. There is nothing we can do about Snoke binding our minds together, so we might as well make some use of it. At least we can say that we will no longer be alone, right?_

 _That's actually a good way of looking at it. Rey, I still want to be your friend._

 _Really? And how exactly would that work? The whole opposite side thing kinda put a dampener on any kind of friendship. Don't you think?_

 _No. Listen to me. I know you don't trust me any more, that you have no faith in me, but I am asking you, please, give me a chance to prove that I am not the man you think I have become._

 _You killed Luke! How can you ask me to give you a chance after that?_

 _I know I did. And I am ashamed to say that I once again let my anger at a tutor I thought I could trust get the better of me, but I want to try and change things. I want to help you. Tell me, is there anything you need that I can help you with?_

Rey sighed internally. There was actually a lot of things that she could think of that they would need in the next few days. There were injured people on board, and they didn't have enough food or water to go around. They needed somewhere to land and gather supplies, but nowhere was safe right now. They were on the run from everyone and no one was their friend. _If you want to help so badly, find somewhere that we can land and recuperate without your First Order friends trying to slaughter us in our sleep. We need medical supplies, food, water, preferably about six more ships. Help us, and I will give you your chance, I promise._

 _Very well, I will get back to you about your supplies and your planet. You will have to give me time to set something up though. It might take a couple of days._

 _Alright, thank you._

 _I need to go now, Rey. I will be here for you if you need me, I promise you. I am your friend. Be safe, please._

 _Ben!_

 _Yes?_

 _Please, don't betray me this time. I don't think I would be able to kill you, if it came down to it._

 _I promise you, I will not betray you._

The connection between them was severed and for the first time in over a month, since the battle on Crait, Rey felt a small spark of hope in her chest. She stuffed her feet in her boots and left her room. Rey and Leia were the only people on the _Falcon_ could say that they had their own rooms. Though, their rooms had been cargo areas until they had been cleaned out. As she stepped out her door, she nearly stumbled over Rose, who was asleep against the wall next to her door. Her arm still in a sling and a heavy bandage around her head.

Kneeling in front of the woman, Rey shook her awake gently. "Rey?" Rose whispered. "Is everything alright?"

"Yes, everything is fine. Come on." she helped the mechanic stand and pulled her back into the bedroom. She helped her lay down and covered her with the blankets, despite her protests. "You need the bed more than I do. Besides, I am used to sleeping on the floor or in a chair. I'll be fine. Get some rest."

She left the room and made her way to the gunner station. A young man was sitting in the chair, leaned back casually in his seat. He straightened immediately when Rey came in. "Rey, are you alright?"

"Yes, why don't you go get some sleep. I'll take this watch for a while."

"Are you certain?" He asked standing from the chair.

"Yeah, I need some time to think anyway." She answered and waved him off. She sat in the chair and propped her feet up on the display. She wasn't afraid of it breaking, these things could take a beating and she knew it. She sat there, reclined in the seat, staring at the stars, thinking and reminiscing about her life before Leia, Ben, Finn, Po and the others came into her life, how she spent nearly every day in fear of being discovered for what she was. She couldn't quite convince herself that she wasn't the killer she thought she was, though Leia had meant well, she had a hard time believing the words that the woman had told her. After so many years, spent believing that she was a murderer, it was hard to believe that she wasn't.

Whispers of the screams and terror of that day still tickled her mind. Hopefully it wasn't enough to summon Leia back to her side. She needed her sleep and shouldn't be forced to keep Rey company because of a bad dream. She didn't want to disturb the elder woman. She also didn't want her peace disturbed right now. She thought back to what Luke had taught her about meditation and let go of her thoughts. She emptied herself and reached out, feeling her way along the the edges of the ship, reassuring herself that everyone onboard was safe. When she reached Leia's room, she paused for a minute, taking the time to make sure the older woman was resting well and that her dreams were pleasant ones.

Glad that they were safe, and everyone was resting, she came back to herself and simply sat there, breathing and not thinking, until she heard movement in the up decks of the ship. A whisper in her mind told her that Leia had found her hiding spot and it was only moments later that Finn slid down the ladder behind her and crept slowly up next to her. "I'm not asleep, Finn." she whispered to him.

"Everyone is looking for you. Rose was in your room and-"

"I know. She was sleeping on the floor outside my room when I got up. I put her to bed in there. She needs the bed more than I do. I hope she is still resting." Rey stood and moved out of the chair. "I think the next shift here is yours so, I will see you later."

She climbed the ladder and came face to face with Leia as she turned around. "Did you get anymore sleep last night?" The older woman asked, concerned.

Rey wrestled with herself for moment over whether to tell the General that she had been in contact with her son, but decided against it quickly. "No. I didn't, but I'm fine. How is Rose?"

"She is still sleeping in your room. What are you going to do for a room now?"

"I don't need one. The beds are too soft anyway." Rey turned, headed to find some food, but stopped when she felt a hand on her arm. "I appreciate your concern, General. I will be fine. I promise you." she couldn't let Leia get tangled up in her demons.

"Rey-"

"Don't, please. Pity is the last thing I need right now." she started to walk away again, but this time was halted by a strong hand wrapping around her bicep and dragging her away in the opposite direction. Leia led her to a store room and pushed her inside.

"Talk to me." She ordered.

"There is nothing to talk about. I thank you, for what you did last night, but this is my problem, no one else needs to be involved in it." Rey pushed a hand through her short hair.

"Rey, you are-"

"NO ONE!" the young Jedi found herself screaming. "Luke said it, everyone on Jakku knew it, even Kylo Ren said it. I'm no one, from a no name family of traders that sold me for scraps. Don't you get it? It doesn't matter what I learn or what I do, I will always be no one."

 _That's not what I said._

 _Not now, Ben._

"Rey," Leia began calmly. "You are not a nobody. It doesn't matter where you come from, who your family is, or were. You are a precious piece of our lives now. Everyone on board the ship cares about you. I care about you."

"Like you cared about Ben? I heard you talking to Luke, through his mind. You have given up on him." The young woman knew that was a low blow, and she could feel the hurt rolling off of Leia in waves.

"If my son were to ever, ever, come to me and asked me to help him, or hug him, or just want to talk, there is nothing in this galaxy that would stop me from it. I love my son, Rey. I always will, but that is a completely different situation and you know it." Leia spat. "If you don't want my help that's fine, just tell me, but do not EVER accuse me of not loving Ben, of not caring about him, again. Are we clear?"

Rey could only nod and watch as the angry General stormed out of the small closet and the door slid shut behind her. The Jedi sat on one of the containers and drew her knees up to her chest. What was she doing? She was pushing away everyone she cared about and hurting the people she desperately wanted to be around.

 _Rey._

 _Yes?_ Even in her mind, her voice sounded watery.

 _My mother, was the one person that I always knew I could lean on. I had the opportunity to kill her, and I couldn't take the shot. I don't know if she will accept me after everything I have done, but don't make the same mistakes I did. Don't push people out of your life because you are in pain._ Ben sounded far to wise about this.

 _I don't know what to do, Ben. Help me, please._

 _Go talk to her. Not now, you both need time to relax, but later, tell her you are sorry, tell her that you are scared. I don't want you to hurt anymore._

 _I will. Thank you._

She felt a gentle touch against her mind. _Your welcome._

oooOOOooo

A/N - There is Chapter 1. As I said before, this WHOLE STORY (yes it is complete but it is going to take me a while to get the chapters uploaded) was written without a beta, so I take full credit for any and all mistakes.


	2. Chapter 2

She didn't see Leia again that day or for the next three days after, and actually made a point of avoiding her. Anytime she heard her voice she ducked into one of the side halls or another storage room to stay away from her. She didn't know how she was going to apologize, what to say, or when. She knew she had to though. She hadn't meant what she had said, she had been angry at herself and the entire situation and for a moment, had forgotten what Luke had taught her about balance within herself.

Leia knew that Rey was avoiding her. Even though she didn't use her powers much, she could still sense the guilt and sorrow from her every time she rounded a corner and expected her to be there. She hadn't seen the young woman when meal times rolled around. Nor had she seen her in the water storage. Despite trying her best to stay angry at the Jedi, she found herself beginning to worry. As she readied for bed, she thought about how she was going to find Rey and talk to her in the morning. She didn't expect to hear a knock at her door. Opening it, revealed a pale and tear stained face with hazel eyes. Leia looked her over and came to the startling realization that Rey hadn't been eating, or sleeping, since their argument.

"I'm sorry." Rey whispered. "I am so sorry. I don't know why I said those things. I know I shouldn't have, but I was so angry-"

"At who?" Leia asked. She stood her ground, not allowing Rey to enter her room or even offering her a hug.

"Myself. I know that I lashed out and I hurt you. I just wanted to tell you, I'm sorry. I truly am." Rey turned and before Leia could stop her, sprinted down the hall.

Leia watched as Rey ducked into a lavatory and the door slid shut behind her. The General grabbed her robe from the bed and walked to the door that she had just watched the young woman run into. She stood at the locked door, and leaned her head against the panel. She could hear heaving coming from within and knocked slowly. The door opened, just in time for Rey to hit her knees and start retching into the basin again. Her hair fell around her face and Leia felt like crying. She walked over and knelt next to her friend, pulling her hair away from her face. She ran a soothing hand down a spine that she could feel far too many bones protruding from. She could here choked apologies coming from the young woman.

"It's alright, Rey, just breathe. How long has it been since you last ate?" She noticed that there was nothing coming out of the young girls system.

They waited for the Jedi to regain control of herself and sit back against the wall. "I don't know." she whispered. "I think it was, maybe four days, no, no it was five days ago."

"Rey," came the gentle chastisement. "How long have you been sick?"

"I'm ok. This was the first time I actually threw up. I am sorry, General. I-"

"Leia."

"What?"

"My name is Leia. I'd prefer it if you called me by my name. Listen to me Rey, I am incredibly angry about the things you said. I am not ready to forgive you for it, yet, but that doesn't mean you need to avoid me, or starve yourself. What were you thinking?" Leia demanded.

"I wasn't. That was kind of the point. I spent the last few days working on the ship, and meditating, not thinking. I haven't really done anything else." She whispered against her sore throat. "I didn't want to fall asleep and risk that dream again. Hunger, I have learned, is really good at keeping a person awake at night. So I meditated instead."

"You can't do that. You need your rest, just like the rest of us do. You can't starve yourself. You have to take care of yourself. What would we do without you?"

"The Resistance would carry on, even if I wasn't here. So it really doesn't matter." Rey whispered. "I told you before, I'm a nobody. There might be a few people who would miss me, but they would get over it quickly." she didn't know how tears could fall from a body as dehydrated as hers, but they did.

"Come on." Leia helped her stand and dragged the young woman back to her room.

"I shouldn't be in here." Rey whispered.

"Why not?"

"Because I upset you. This is your personal room. The only place you can really be alone." She stood meekly by the door, watching as Leia moved around the room gathering the couple of food rations she had stored in there and a bottle of water.

"You need to eat and you need water. I have both readily available." The elder of the two steered the younger towards her bed and sat her down. "Eat, drink, then we'll talk." Rey could only nod in response.

While she ate, she watched Leia brush her hair, and clean her teeth, before washing her face and joining her on the bed as she finished the ration and her water. Rey sat silently, waiting for Leia to reprimand her for her actions over the last few days. Instead, the General turned and faced Rey's side, placing her head on the bony shoulder. Neither moved or spoke for a long time. They just sat there, in the dark, listening to each other breathe.

"Rey, I know you aren't used to having people care about you, but like it or not, I do, Finn and Po do, Rose does. Don't starve yourself. I don't care how many fights we get into, please, don't make yourself sick." The plea was whispered against the bare skin of the Jedi's arm. "Don't hurt yourself because we had an argument."

"Ok," was the only response that was given.

"Will you talk to me now? Tell me what you were so angry about?"

Rey paused, she wasn't sure what to tell her. She had been angry about the entire situation. A secret she had kept for years was suddenly known by someone else. She had never intended for another living being to know that she had killed that man, but now, now Leia wanted her to talk about it and be open with her and she wasn't sure how. "I was angry at myself. I didn't want anyone to know about what I did. When I pulled you into that nightmare, when you found out what I had done, you reacted completely opposite of what I expected." she whispered.

"What did you expect?" Leia looked up at her, curious.

"I don't know. Anger, disgust at best. Hatred at worst. I didn't know what to do with myself when you were so understanding and comforting. I was confused and angry that you knew to begin with and, and I lashed out."

"You expected me to hate you? Because you defended yourself against an attacker who was trying to hurt you? Rey, I couldn't hate you for that. You have-"

"I know. I know now, anyway. Just like I know you love your son. I shouldn't have said the things I did, Leia. I just hope that someday you can forgive me," she stood. "Thank you, for the food. I should go." She started for the door.

"Is running away a common Jedi trait? Between you and my brother I am beginning to think that is what the Jedi are good at."

"What?" the young woman turned back around, looking at the elder one, sitting cross legged on the bed with her back to her.

Leia sighed. She wasn't sure what it was about the young Jedi, but she didn't want to be angry with her anymore. "I forgive you, Rey. Come sit back down."

The hazel eyed girl did as she was told, this time facing the woman. "You forgive me?"

"Yes, but don't ever say something like that again. Deal?"

"Deal."

"Good. Where have you been sleeping?" Leia reached up and brushed a strand of hair away from the other woman's face.

"I haven't been, remember? I stay down in one of the repair holes when I meditate at night, but I haven't been sleeping. I did finish repairing my lightsaber, though." Rey leaned her face into Leia's hand. It felt good, to let another person touch her, to have someone touch her so gently.

" I am glad that you managed to fix it. You are going to need it. Do you want to stay here?" The older of the two asked.

Rey chuckled softly, "Not unless you are going to let me sleep on the floor."

"Why would you want to do that?"

"I am not going to take your bed from you, Leia. That's not fair." The young woman whispered. She felt Leia's hand move over her hair, and reached up, catching the slim wrist and pulling her hand back to her cheek, turning her nose into her wrist and inhaling that calming scent again. She felt a gentle push on her mind and looked up into a pair of dark brown eyes watching her closely. Slowly, giving Leia plenty of time to pull away is she wanted, Rey planted a soft kiss on the soft skin of her wrist.

Leia's breath hitched in her throat at the gently pressure from chapped lips. "We can't-"

"Good night, Leia." Rey whispered, standing. "Get some sleep, and don't worry about me. I'll find somewhere to sleep tonight." she left the room quickly and leaned her head back against the wall outside the General's door. Her heart pounded wildly in her chest and she frowned, trying to figure out where that had come from. What in Kriff's name had she just done?

 _Ben. Are you there?_ She reached out for the only person she thought she could speak to about this.

 _Yes, Rey. I'm here._

 _I apologized to your mother._

 _How did it go?_

 _I'm not sure. She was worried about me. I haven't really slept, or eaten since we had that argument._ Rey pushed herself away from the wal and walked to the smallest supply room, the one no one wanted to sleep in, and slipped inside. There were boxes piled all over the room and she climbed over a few to the back of the small space and sat against the wall, on the floor.

 _That's enough to make me worry, too. Are you alight?_

 _I think so, but I did something, and I don't know why._

 _What did you do?_ His voice in her head was curious and a little cautious.

 _I kissed her._

 _YOU KISSED MY MOTHER?!_ Rey almost laughed at how shocked and grossed out he sounded.

 _I kissed her wrist. She was holding my face in her hand and she was worrying about where I was going to sleep tonight, and I just did it. I don't even know why._

 _Okay. Rey, you are my friend, and if my mother is who makes you happy, then I am happy for you and I will defend your relationship to the death, but please, don't give me any details about it._

 _WHAT?! What relationship? Ben, we aren't together._

 _What do you feel when you think of her?_

 _My head starts spinning and my heart feels like it is about to jump out of my chest._

 _And when you were fighting, you felt like all the light in the world had left you, like there was a gaping hole in your chest that you would never be able to fill again, right?_

 _Were you spying on me?_

 _No Rey, I wasn't spying on you. But I did check in on you a few times. I hate to be the bearer of this news, but it sounds like you are falling in love with my mother._

 _I can't be. I have only known her for a few weeks. We have only been in each other's company for a month or so. I can't be falling in love with her. Can I?_

 _That is for you to decide. I can't tell you for sure. You will have to talk to her about it._

 _Okay. Thank you, Ben, for listening._

 _You're welcome. Go to sleep now._

 _Alright._


	3. Chapter 3

The next morning, Rey heard the name of a planet whispered in her mind, she knew that this was where Ben must have dropped supplies for her and the rest of the Resistance. Her suggestion had Leia frowning, but the older woman didn't protest. Hypori wasn't a densely populated planet and was covered in mountainous terrain. It was littered with cave systems that would be perfect for housing the few people they had with them, until they could come up with a better plan. They needed a place to restock and rest. Hopefully Ben had come through with the provisions she had asked for.

The meeting broke apart and Rey gave the new coordinates to the pilot and started to walk back down to the closet that she had slept in last night. She had the beginnings of a headache and just wanted somewhere quiet to sit. She couldn't help but roll her eyes when she felt that strong hand grab her bicep again and drag her back to the room she had left last night.

"What do you think you are doing?" Leia demanded, shoving the young woman against the door.

"I thought I was trying to help us find somewhere to lay low for a while. We-"

"Not that. That was a good idea. I'm talking about last night. You kissed me."

"I know what I did." Rey whispered, not looking her in the eyes.

"Why?"

"I don't know. At least I didn't last night." The younger of the two women said.

"And did you come to some conclusion about it?" The elder asked, crossing her arms impatiently and looking at the young Jedi. She wasn't really angry about the kiss, but she was too old to be a casual fling for someone Rey's age. She wanted the young woman, but she wouldn't be her one night stand out of curiosity.

"In a way, I suppose I did, but it's not something that I am ready to talk about right now. Please, Leia, don't force this one." Rey whispered. Her plea was pain filled and desperate.

Leia hadn't expected that. All she could do was drop her arms and nod, watching the young woman hurry out of the room and back down the hall. She stared after the young woman, wondering what had just happened.

oooOOOooo

They were facing each other, seated on Leia's bed again as Rey talked her through her meditation. The General had never been particularly good at things like this, things that had to do with being force-sensitive. Luke had tried to teach her once, but she had been unable to sit still long enough at the time to even get through the basic lessons, before she was off at the next council meeting or discussing something else with a senator. Rey's voice, so different from her brother's had a way of forcing her mind to slow, to focus on only the accented words and the sounds of their breaths in the room.

With her mind as empty as it was, it was very simple for her to reach out and touch the minds of every other person on the ship. It was amazing to skim over the surface thoughts and see what each person was actively thinking, before moving on to the next. Her mind finally settled on Rey. The majority of the young woman's thoughts sat behind heavily armed walls, and barriers that Leia couldn't push through. She seemed to be standing in an empty room, with a million locked doors and no keys to any of them. She felt at peace within Rey's mind, but also a little unnerved at how many things the young woman was hiding from her.

She came back to herself, and they both enjoyed simply sitting in the silence together, appreciating each other's company and the quiet. The air around them was still, and the only sound was the whirring of the ships engines and their own breathing. When the older woman finally opened her eyes, she noticed that Rey was staring at her, watching every movement, every twitch of muscle.

"Tell me about Jakku." Leia whispered.

"There isn't much to tell. Jakku is basically what you see. Thieves, slavers, traders, general population of low lifes and over all bad people." Rey whispered. She looked away from the older woman. "Everyone there does what they have to in order to survive. I did. At least until BB-8 and Finn came crashing into my life."

"Being on that planet, and doing what was necessary to ensure your own survival does not make you a low life, you know?"

Rey chuckled. "I will admit that I was not as bad as most people on that planet. I looked out for myself and made it known very early on that I would beat the Kriff out of anyone who touched me. But I am still a low life, Leia. I'm a thief and a scavenger by trade and very nearly sold BB-8 to the highest bidder. I'm not a shining beacon of righteousness or goodness that people should look to."

"Did you have a choice in what you became?" Leia placed a gentle hand on her arm, willing the younger woman to understand that it wasn't her fault. That the things that happened to her as a child were things that she didn't have a choice of.

"We all have choices. They are what define us. What shape our lives into what they are. The choices we make determine the people we turn out to be. The choices I made, were not good ones. I wronged a lot of people on Jakku."

The elder of the two stared. She had never considered things in that particular way before. Things seemed different when you looked at life that way, as a series of choice that all people must make. She wrapped her arm around the shoulders of the younger woman and sighed. She had no idea what to say to that, so she said nothing.

Leia started when the shoulders she was holding moved and Rey came to stand. She looked down at general and smiled, almost sadly. Gentle lips brushed her forehead and the older woman found herself sighing at the contact. Neither spoke a word, but there was so much that was said in that simple gesture, most of which, she didn't understand.

"Good night, Leia." Rey whispered against her skin and before she could react, the Jedi

was gone.

oooOOOooo

It was only a couple nights later that Leia had Rey, seated on the floor in front of her bed, braiding her hair. It was soft, and surprisingly strong, much like the woman herself. She remembered their conversation from the other night about choices. Why Leia continued to make the choice to allow the young woman to come to her like this, she didn't know, but she felt that if she didn't take the chance and make that choice, then her life would be much poorer.

"Will you tell me about your parents?"

Rey's question came as a surprise to the older woman. She knew that the young Jedi had lived her entire life on her own without knowing who her parents were or where she was from. She remembered seeing the tally marks on the wall of the AT-AT where she had counted the days since she had been abandoned. It made sense that she would ask about that specifically. Though Leia didn't like to think about the destruction of her home, so she hesitated a moment before responding.

"I don't talk about them much, since the destruction of Alderaan. What do you want to know?"

"You don't have to talk about it, if it is too uncomfortable. I was just curious. I don't remember anything about my own parents, so I suppose I was wondering what parents are like in general."

"My parents, well, you know that I was the princess of Alderaan. I grew up as part of the royal family. My father, when he wasn't busy with council work or diplomatic errands, was a very kind man. He never raised his voice at me, and I don't remember him ever really being angry with me for anything, but he was also very stern. I had a strict set of rules to follow as a child and when I didn't, he let me know, without anger, that I had let him down. He loved me, and wanted me to succeed in everything, and so he set me up with the rules and etiquettes that I would need to know to navigate diplomatic affairs. He taught me everything I know about leadership and war.

"My mother on the other hand, was a woman of peace. She disagreed with my father more than once on his ideals about the Galactic Empire and the war that everyone knew was coming, but at the same time, she understood that the war had to be fought. She wanted my father and I to stay out of it. She actually begged me not to go on the mission that got me captured by Vader. Now, I suppose that I am lucky that I did go. If I hadn't, if I had listened to her, then I wouldn't be here." Her voice was soft, but she was certain that Rey was clinging to every word. The rigidity of the young woman's spine gave away the discomfort and betrayal she felt towards her own parents for not being there for her. Tears filled the older woman's eyes when she thought of everything that she had lost when Alderaan was destroyed. She couldn't really see what she was doing with Rey's hair, but she didn't need to. She could do this without seeing.

As Leia finished with the last braid, she patted the young woman on her shoulder, feeling her move and turn to face her, but remaining on the floor. They stared at each other for a long time, Leia's pain pouring out of her eyes as she watched the Rey search her face.

"No one here, and I do mean no one, would ever give you up the way your parents did, Rey." Leia whispered through her tears. "I wouldn't give you up. You belong here with us. You are a part of this family now."

Rey sat on the bed and wrapped Leia in her arms, holding her close to her and allowing her to cry into her shirt. She was unsure how to deal with a person who was so upset, but she tried the same things that the older woman had done when she had woken from her nightmare, whispering comforting words and gently rocking her until at last, her tears dried.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome. Thank you, for telling me about them, but it is getting late now. We both need to sleep." Rey, very carefully, pressed a gentle kiss to the Leia's cheek, and stood. "Goodnight, Leia."


	4. Chapter 4

The weeks passed quickly now once word of a new planet to lay low on had spread. Everyone seemed to be vibrating with anticipation. Rey, for her part, had spent a lot of time meditating on what was going on between herself and the General. They still had quiet conversations in the dark of Leia's room. Rey felt like the older woman was the one person in the galaxy that she could tell anything to. They talked about her life on Jakku, her heartache about her parents leaving her and the older woman comforted her when she had nightmares and showed up at her door. Likewise, when Leia had trouble sleeping, Rey would sit with her, and listen to her troubles and fears. They grew closer in the time it took them to get to Hypori and Rey was scared of what that meant for the two of them. Every night, as she left she would place a gentle kiss on Leia's hand, head, or cheek and wish her a good night.

Now, coming in to land on Hypori, Rey had to think that Leia wouldn't really have time for her anymore. She would be called back to her duties as the General and Rey would be left alone to deal with her monsters by herself. She shook her head and hugged her knees closer to her chest, hiding in her supply closet, and ignored the sounds of people running through the corridors getting ready to move off of the ship.

 _You know my mother is not going to just abandon you, right?_

 _You sound a lot more certain of that than I feel._ Rey answered Ben's statement quietly. _She is a busy woman. I doubt that she will have the time to deal with me anymore._

 _Rey, you know better than that._

 _No, I really don't, Ben. It's ok though. I'll be fine._

A knock echoed through the small space and Rey looked up. "Come in." she called.

"Rey? Are you alright?" Leia's voice came to her from the other side of the boxes. She looked around the cramped space. "Where are you?"

The Jedi stood from her spot on the floor and climbed over the boxes, seating herself on the tallest stack and looked down at the woman that she was very quickly falling in love with. She didn't know what she was going to do when Leia didn't have time for her anymore, and that thought scared her, more than she was willing to show.

"What are you doing back there?" The older woman stepped into the confined space and closed the door. "Everyone is getting ready for the ship to land. I thought you would be at the front of the line. This was your idea after all."

"I was hiding. I thought that much was obvious." she answered with a wry grin.

"Hiding? Who do you have to hide from?" Leia reached up and placed her hand on Rey's knees, running her fingers over the soft fabric of the younger woman's leggings.

"Honestly?"

Leia nodded, her eyes never leaving the hazel ones that she had come to adore.

"I was hiding from you."

"What? Why?" the older woman was worried that she had done something to offend her young friend.

"I- Do you remember, when you asked me why I kissed you?"

"Of course I do. You asked me not to push it, so I didn't. At least I didn't think I had. Did I offend you somehow?" Leia couldn't remember doing anything that would have upset Rey.

The young woman slid off the stack of boxes and took Leia's face between her hands as she had done so many times over the last couple of weeks. "You didn't do anything. You have been perfect, ever since we met. You have pushed me to open up about myself, but also accepting when things were to difficult to talk about. You have supported me, and been my friend," she dropped her hands away from the face that she was terrified she would never get to touch again, "and now I am afraid."

"Of what?" Leia whispered, stepping closer to the younger woman.

"I am afraid of what is going to happen now. I am afraid of where I will end up when I have to let you go. Once this ship lands, you go back to being General Organa, and I go back to being just, Rey." Her hands ran down Leia's arms and grasped her hands. The ship gave a lurch and Rey gripped the woman's hips, holding her firmly in place as the ship finally touched land. Once the ship was still again, Rey stepped away from Leia. "You have a Resistance to lead, General."

"No. You don't get to decide that we are finished just like that." Leia push Rey backwards until her back met the boxes she had climbed off of. "You don't get to decide what I am too busy for. We have been there for each other since right after we started this flight. I am not going to let you just walk away." She felt Rey grab her arms.

"Leia, please. You have-"

"No." She knocked the hands away from her. "Damn it, Rey. What happened to the gentle touches at night? The kisses that you gave me? What happened to the long conversations about anything and the way you held me when I was scared? Did all of that mean nothing to you?"

"It meant EVERYTHING to me. That's why I have to let you go now, Leia, before I get too attached and I can't let you go." Rey had pushed off of the boxes at her back and was walking towards the General, moving her slowly backwards until it was her backed up against a hard surface.

"What are you talking about, Rey?"

"I am talking about the fact that I am falling in love with you. That everytime I think about you my head spins and my heart feels like it might leap from my chest. You are in my head, in my dreams, and when I think about having to give you back to the Resistance, to let you go back to your duties and your public life and protocols, I can't breathe. I don't want to have to live without you, but you live a different life than I do. Please, walk out this door, and let me-"

She was interrupted by Leia shoving her backwards. "You bitch," she whispered. "You think, that after everything, after all of this, I am going to just turn my back on you and walk away? You actually think that I would leave you to flounder on your own and let the Resistance keep me from you. How could you? How could you, Rey? I have news for you, Jedi, you're not the only one who feels empty. You aren't the only one who feels lost every time you leave my room. You are not the only one who is invested in this. You aren't-"

Rey cut Leia off by forcing her against the closest wall, pinning her hands above her head and using her body to hold the shorter woman against the cold metal. "Tell me, Leia. Tell me you want this, that you want me. Tell me now or I will walk away. I can't live in halves like this. Half of me wanting you so badly I can taste it, and the other half needing to give you space, needing to keep my distance, so I can let you go. Right now, I am taking the chance." She nuzzled her face into the crook of Leia's neck slowly slid her tongue over the pulse point below the strong jaw she so adored. "I am scared, Leia." She whispered against her neck. "Please, answer me."

"Rey, I-" Pounding on the door pulled them apart as Po pressed the keypad and opened the door.

"Rey! We're here! This was brilliant! You coming?" He asked, not noticing the General standing behind one of the stacks of boxes

"Of course I am! Give me a few minutes, I just need to finish up some things in here and I will be out." She smiled at her friend as he closed the door.

"This was a bad idea." Leia whispered. "If someone were to find out, if they knew about us, what would they say?"

"I have my answer then." She waved towards the door. "Have a good day, General."

Leia stepped out of the door, but stopped and turned looking back. The sight that greeted her froze her heart. Tears fell from a face hidden behind dark hair. The body of the young Jedi trembled and she had to lean against the wall, near the door, to support herself. "Rey-" the older woman never got to finish her statement as the distraught younger reached out and punched the inner keypad. Leia heard the locking mechanism engage and and the sparks of pad that Rey had shattered as the door between them slammed shut.

The Jedi hit her knees and sobbed. It was over. There would be no more quiet nights together. No more gentle touches in the dark. She felt a soft push at the edges of her mind, and slammed well trained walls into place, forcing whoever it was away from her. She wanted to be alone. She didn't want to speak to Ben, or Leia, or anyone else. She slowly climbed her way back over the boxes and slid to the ground behind them.

Leia had tried sensing Rey. She pushed softly at the consciousness in the room she had just left, but was quickly forced out by walls that the General had never felt before. It hurt her to know that the former scavenger had shut her out. They had always been open with each other. Their minds constantly brushing one another's, a gentle, reassuring caress whenever the other needed it. She supposed that was over now. Along with everything else. Turning, she left Rey to her solitude and walked out, into the cool air of the mountain they were going to call home for a while.


	5. Chapter 5

When Rey finally made her way out of the ship and into the cave system that they were going to be staying in, all she brought was her pack, and her staff. The jacket she had been wearing, a gift from Leia, was stuffed unceremoniously in her bag. Walls still in place, she could feel the general's eyes on her as she walked. She found a small cave, at the back of the system, with a ledge above her head, hanging over the entrance to the area. There was no way Leia would be able to get to her up there. Tossing her bag and he staff up she jumped, and hauled herself onto the ledge. There, she pulled the jacket out of her bag, used her bag as a pillow, and covered her arms with the piece of clothing, breathing in the familiar scent. It brought tears to her eyes and she cried herself to sleep in the confined space of her personal cave.

The first thing Leia noticed as Rey walked through the caves, was the tear tracks on her face. Then, she noticed that the young woman wasn't wearing the jacket the she had given her. It broke her heart to think that she had hurt the young woman that badly. She wished she could go to her, comfort her, or even just touch her mind, but none of those things were possible now, and that thought cut like a lightsaber to her heart.

And so things continued, for a week Leia would watch Rey interact with her friends, watched her care for Rose, and move around in the cave system. She ate, she drank water, but she was barely alive. They lived separate lives now, and Rey's mind was always closed off to her. She watched the young woman one day, having a conversation with Finn. Her laugh was hollow, and her smile didn't reach her eyes anymore. She had done that. She would never forgive herself.

Rey was dreaming. A field of golden grass surrounded by high mountains was her vision now. Everything seemed wonderful. It was gorgeous.

 _Rey._

She looked behind her and saw Ben standing there.

 _Is this real?_

 _Not quite. You are asleep. I came to you in your dreams, where I could actually see you._ He reached his hand out to her, and this time, Rey didn't hesitate to take his gloved hand and allow him to pull her into the safety of his black cloak. _I am so sorry, Rey. I was wrong about my mother. I didn't know that her image mattered to her that much._

 _I thought I was more important to her than that. I should have known not to get attached to her. Everyone always leaves me._

 _I am not going to leave you. Remember, we are each other's company when we are alone. I can't leave you. Besides, I wouldn't get very far with our minds bound, now would I?_

Rey let out a watery chuckle and Ben wiped her tears with his gloved thumbs. _You are like the sister I never had, Rey, and I will protect you as if you were. Even if that means taking you away from my mother. Do I need to come rescue you?_

 _Kriff, no. think about how the rest of the Resistance would react if you showed up and we ran away together._ They both thought about that for a moment before they started laughing.

 _Do you feel better?_ Ben asked.

 _Yes. Thank you, Ben. I think I need to wake up now. Where did you leave the provisions for us?_

 _At the bottom of the mountain, in a small cave near the river. There should be plenty for all of you. Stay safe._

 _I will._

Rey went out with the next scouting party later that afternoon. While her party consisted of Po and Finn, the three of them worked well together. They reached the bottom of the mountain fairly quickly. Rey glanced back at where the _Falcon_ sat and realized that they were only about a quarter of the way up the mountain. It was Finn that heard the river first. He took off like a shot and was on his knees sucking down water with his palms. Po was right behind him, clapping him on the back and kneeling next to him, taking long pulls from the river himself. Rey watched the two with slight amusement, thinking that they never would have survived long on Jakku.

 _Turn around, Rey_

She did as Ben told her and saw the cave, it was small, with just barely enough room for her to walk in without hitting her head but, filled to the brim with supplies. Enough to last them a year or more.

 _You did it. You actually did it. Thank you! I could kiss you right now!_

 _I would rather you didn't, but you're welcome. I have a lot to do though. There are things that I am making happen that you will hear about soon. Until then, stay safe._

 _Stay safe, Ben._

"PO! FINN!" She yelled as she came out of the cave. "You have to see this!"

The rest of the base threw a party when they had finally brought up all of the supplies. Music and dancing and plenty of water. Rey found herself surrounded by people, all wanting to talk to her, all at the same time. She was barely listening to any of them as her eyes caught sight of a figure making its way across the room. Leia, felt herself being stared at, and turned, catching Rey's gaze, only for a moment, before the younger woman broke it and returned to her conversation.

oooOOOooo

Weeks passed in the caves and things began to settle into a routine. Rey held shifts with the guards and practiced all of the fighting techniques and meditations that Luke had taught her. She went to her cave each night, more exhausted than she was the night before. She was burning herself out, trying to stay busy. Trying not to think about Leia. Trying not to think about losing her. She spent her days, attempting to forget the void in her chest where the elder woman had been, and her nights fighting off nightmares and sorrow.

Leia watched the circles grow under the Jedi's eyes, watched as she slowly wasted away. And couldn't think of anything that she could do to really help her. She hadn't been able to sense anything from the young woman at all. Still blocked from her mind, it didn't take a genius, or force sensitive, to realize that the woman was dealing with nightmares and was barely sleeping.

"General? Is everything ok?" Po was asking, and she nodded slowly. They had been discussing watch schedules and the movement of equipment to start building their base up again. "You were watching Rey. You know that she is in love with you, right?"

"What? How do you know that?" Leia snapped, staring at this man who may have just changed everything for her.

"Forgive me, but everyone knows. We discussed it at chow one day. Everyone watched as the two of you fell in love with each other. You both deserve it. Rey has had a hard life, and yours hasn't exactly been easy either. Though, she hasn't been herself in the last few weeks. Did something happen?"

Leia sighed. "You're telling me that the entire Resistance knows that Rey and I are in love with each other and I haven't even had the courage to tell her? That I possibly ruined everything with her for no reason?"

"How did you ruin it?" Po asked.

"I told her that we couldn't be together, because I was afraid of what you would all think." Leia sighed softly. "Excuse me, Po. I need some time to think about this."

The cave she was staying in was on the other side of the system from Rey's. The bed she had used on the ship had been hauled out and set up for her, along with the few pieces of clothing she still had. She sat on her bed and sobbed. She had lost the young woman that she had fallen in love with, all because she was afraid of losing her image. What had she done?

oooOOOooo

Rey woke with a gasp and surged up, before she realized where she was and layed back against her pack. She was getting really tired of the same old nightmares over and over. They had been on Hypori for almost four months now and nearly every night she woke up, biting back screams. Thankfully, she didn't have to worry about Leia coming as she had before. She had mentioned to Ben once that she had accidentally pulled his mother into her dream, and that his mother had sensed her fear, and Ben, somehow, managed help her keep her mind guarded. He kept his mother away from his best friend's mind so that she could try to heal from her heartbreak.

She shifted, placing her back against the stone wall and drawing her knees up to her chest. She was grateful that Finn had ensured her bed would be Rose's. This rock face was more her style than the bed anyway. After she had outgrown her hammock she had taken to sleeping on the hard metal floor of her AT-AT. Beds were too soft.

"Rey," a watery voice came from below her. "Are you in here?"

"What do you want, Leia?" Rey's voice echoed through the cave, making it impossible for the older woman to pinpoint where she actually was.

"I wanted to thank you, first. For thinking to bring us here. We should be able to stay for a while." The General moved into the room, and looked around, trying to figure out where her young friend actually was. "I also wanted to apologize. I hurt you, and I'm sorry."

Rey slid forward on the ledge and stared down at her.

Leia heard the movement and turned to see her seated far above her head, well out of her reach. "Is that really necessary?"

"That depends." the young woman let her legs dangle off the ridge.

"On what?"

"On whether you planned on touching me. I don't think I could handle it well." Rey looked away.

"Will you come down, if I promise not to lay a finger on you?" Leia watched her nod slowly. "Come down, then. I swear I won't touch you, unless you want me to."

Rey jumped off the rock and landed next to the older woman. "I'm listening." she whispered.

"I-I was so worried about my image, that I threw you away. I hurt you terribly and all for how it would look if we were seen together. I will never forgive myself for taking the richness from your laughter, or the light from your eyes. I wish there was a way to fix the hurt I have caused, Rey. Please, tell me what I can do." Leia was begging.

"Answer one question."

"Of course."

"Did I mean anything to you? As a person? As your friend? What was I to you, Leia, because I am having a hard time trying to figure out how you could just toss me aside for the sake of your political image." Rey whispered. "I thought you were different." Her voice sounded so broken that it shredded what little was left of Leia's self control.

"You meant everything to me, Rey. I was stupid, and for a minute I forgot that we aren't the Republic. We are the Resistance, and those rules don't apply here. Sweetheart, look at me. Please?" Leia reached for her, and was shocked when the young Jedi flinched away from her.

"I thought you were different." The younger woman said again. "I believed you, when you told me that you would never abandon me. You would be there if I needed you, but then you weren't. You left me. Just like everyone else has left me."

 _Not everyone, Rey._ Ben's voice whispered across her mind, calming her aching heart just a little.

Leia stood there, shocked. "I don't know what to say."

"Tell me that this isn't a game to you. Tell me that you aren't just messing with me for your own entertainment. Tell me that you care, because right now, I really need to know that you still care." Rey whispered, wrapping her arms around herself and turning her face away from the older woman who, for her part was shocked. All of the fears that her young friend was voicing, were the same fears that she herself had thought at the beginning.

"Rey, this was never a game to me. I was never messing with you, or toying with your emotions. I never stopped caring about you. I watched you, these last months," Leia opened her arms, hoping that Rey would take the offer, "and I was completely heartbroken at how badly I had hurt you. I never meant for that to happen. Honestly, I thought the same things about you. I thought that I was just some experiment or one night stand at first, but then you kept coming back. You kept touching me with your gentle caresses and you kissed me, never inappropriately, but sweetly, and I was swept away by you. Please, I am so sorry."

Rey looked at the other woman's outstretched arms and hesitated only a moment, before she stepped into them, leaning down to breathe in the scent that she had missed so much over the last several weeks. "I missed you." she whispered into the soft skin of Leia's neck.

"Oh sweetheart, I missed you too." she tightened her hold on Rey's back and never wanted to leave. "I should get back to my meeting. I left Po sitting there with the scouting party schedules, for next week."


	6. Chapter 6

Later, most of the base was empty as people milled about outside, appreciating being alive and free. Rey went in search of Leia. She found her, seated on her bed staring at her hands. Leaning against the wall, she watched the older woman. "Are you alright?"

"I don't know. For the past four months I have been blocked out of your mind, alone. And now, now I find out that the entire Resistance knew that we were starting something before we did. I don't know what to think. I pushed you away, because I thought of my image, only to find out, that image included you the entire time. Rey, how can I ask you to forgive me, when I don't know if I can forgive myself?"

"No one can tell you that. Just like you can't tell me when I will forgive myself for killing that man, I can't tell you how to forgive yourself for this." She watched Leia's eyes continue to stare at her hands and pushed herself off the wall. She walked around the bed until she was standing in front of the older woman and went to her knees, so she could look into her face. Using a single hand, she lifted Leia's chin and brought their eyes together. "However, just like you forgave me for hurting you, and for killing someone, I forgive you for this." She was prepared for Leia's tears, brushing them away with her thumbs. She pulled the older woman to her feet slowly, and realized that the sun was beginning to sink, if the darkness in the cave was anything to go by. She took the General's face between her hands and pressed a soft kiss to her forehead, another to her cheek. "Good night, Leia." She whispered

And turned to go.

"Wait! Rey, don't leave. Please, stay." Leia held onto her like she would die if she let go.

"What would the rest of the Resistance say?" Rey tested carefully.

"I don't care what they have to say. I am the general, they can keep it to themselves." she pulled the younger woman back towards her, hoping that she could coax her to remain for a long time, and not just the night.

Rey turned back to face the woman she loved. "Tell me, Leia. Tell me you want this, that you want me." The breath of her words fanned across the General's lips causing the older of the two to gasp. "Tell me what you want." The hazel eyed young woman nuzzled the dark eyed woman's cheek, before moving to inhale the scent she loved from the elegant neck, licking once more at the pulse point beneath the strong jaw, and hoping that it would turn out differently this time. "Please, Leia. Tell me the truth. Do you want me?"

"Yes," Came the gasped response. "Yes, Rey. I want you."

The was all the Jedi needed to hear before her lips descended on the General's. Her hands came up and tangled in the soft hair, pulling it free from perfect updo she always wore. Silken strands ran through her fingers like water and Rey felt like crying. Everything had changed between them and she needed the older woman now more than ever, needed the reassurance that they were together, that things were better now. She slowly, lowered her walls, and felt Ben's slip away at the same time.

Leia jumped when she felt that all too familiar gentleness brush across her mind. She almost wept with relief and worry when she felt exactly how tired and drained Rey actually was, her arms came up and wrapped solidly around the young woman's neck. She wasn't ready to let go of her yet.

The heat passing between the two women was intense and dizzying. Neither knew where one body began and the other ended as they pulled each other closer. Their tongues danced in an erotic give and take, tangling with each other. Hands roamed, but never too far, both knew that it was far too early in their newly formed relationship for anything more to happen tonight, but it left them aching for more. The hollow hunger in the pits of their stomachs growing by the second, until Rey finally pulled away.

"Leia," she whispered, pressing their foreheads together and caressing the the older woman's neck.

"Yes?" The General's eyes were still closed as she tried to catch her breath.

"You should sleep."

"So should you." Dark eyes sought hazel in the dark. "You haven't been sleeping."

"I have," the young woman answered. "I just haven't been sleeping well."

Leia took Rey's hand and pulled her down onto the bed. "Tell me," she whispered.

The Jedi looked away from chocolate pools that threatened to drown her. "Like I told you, I have been sleeping, but my sleep is troubled."

"Is it your nightmare again?"

"That one, and others." She wrapped her hands around the Generals and pressed a kiss to her knuckles. "They don't feel the same as a vision. I am not worried about that. They are just bothersome."

"Why didn't you say anything? You could have come to me, Rey, or your friends." Leia pulled her hands from the younger woman's grasp and reached for her. "You don't have to go through this alone. You know that."

Rey went willingly into the comforting embrace. "I couldn't talk to you, not while I was trying so hard to get over you. I couldn't be near you without needing to touch you, to beg you to change your mind."

"Would you like to stay here tonight?" Leia offered, hoping that her young friend? Lover? Partner? Whatever they were, she hoped that she would stay.

"I still have trouble sleeping in beds. I have spent the last four months sleeping on that rock ledge."

The older woman pushed Rey away from her and ran her fingers through the young woman's brown hair. "Then I guess you will have to learn to appreciate a bed. Because I can't get up to your ledge, and I am far too old to sleep on the ground anyway."

"You're not old. You are older than I am, yes, but you are far from being old. Are you sure? About me staying here, I mean? That would be a huge step for us." Rey nuzzled her hand, much like she had the first time the older woman had asked her if she wanted to stay. Placing gentle kisses along the inside of her arm, all the way to the her elbow, she looked up at the General from beneath her lashes.

"Would it help you sleep tonight if I was there, to hold you?" Leia whispered, her throat dry watch the Jedi run her lips over sensitive flesh.

"Just knowing that I am not losing you is enough to help me sleep at night."

"Stay, please, Rey. Stay."

The elder of the two women gasped as she felt herself being pushed backwards on the bed and the younger came up over her, straddling her hips, but not touching her. "What do you expect from tonight, Leia? I have never taken a lover before. I have never felt the overwhelming desire to possess another person, like I feel with you. Please, I need some reassurance here, because I don't think I would survive if you decide tomorrow that I am not what you want."

"What can you sense? What does the Force tell you?" Leia pushed the hair away from the young face above hers. "Tell me, what do you feel?"

"Comfort, longing, _desire,_ so much desire." Rey leaned her head down onto the strong shoulder beneath her. Her thought swam with the other woman's, their minds embracing and touching tenderly. The young woman had never felt anything as intimate as this. She kept careful walls around the information about herself and Ben. The last thing she needed was for his mother to find out that they were still in contact.

"Will you stay?"

"Yes." Rey slid from above Leia and nestled herself against the older woman's side.

Leia wrapped her arm around slim shoulders and tucked her head under her chin. The younger of the two reached out with her hand a used the Force to pull the blanket up over the two of them.

"Goodnight, Leia," Rey whispered.

"Goodnight, sweetheart."


	7. Chapter 7

Leia looked around. Bright sand covered everything, and heat whipped through the dusty wind, stinging her face. She looked around at the barren landscape of a dream she was instinctively knew she was sharing with Rey, though the younger woman was nowhere in sight at the moment. She looked around, staring out as far as she could see. There was nothing but sand, and the AT-AT that Rey used to call home. She wasn't even sure why she was here. She couldn't see anything that would have the young Jedi needing her to be there. She was startled when strong arms wrapped around her waist, and a chin rested on her shoulder, but didn't pull away.

Rey nestled herself against Leia's back and leaned her face down to breathe in the scent of the older woman from the base of her neck. When she had seen her, standing there against the beginning sunset, as the first of two moons began to rise, she was overcome with the desire to hold the woman close, to keep her there forever.

"Rey, why did you bring me here?" Leia whispered into the wind, resting her hands on the arms encircling her.

"Have you ever watched a sunset on Jakku?"

"No."

The General felt a keen sense of loss when Rey withdrew her arms and took her hands, leading her over to the AT-AT and helping her climb through the sand to the top of the rusted out contraption. She helped Leia sit, facing the sun, and sat behind her, pulling her back against her chest.

Leia rested comfortably between the young woman's thighs. Her hands slid down strong calves, and her nail scratched their way back up. She felt, rather than heard the growl that came from her companions throat, and moaned when she felt teeth digging lightly into her skin.

"Watch, I only ever got to see this once, even though it happens several times a year. I want to share this memory with you." Rey whispered, her warm breath tickled the older woman's ear and forced her attention back to the sunset they were both watching. As the sun went down, and the moon rose, it appeared as though their edges touched, just at the horizon, and as it happened, a brilliant green light lit the sky for a moment, bathing them in an emerald glow. Leia gasped at the sight. Never before had she seen anything like this. She sat up, leaning off of Rey's chest to stare up at the sky in wonder.

The young Jedi watched the emotions play over the General's face. She loved watching her eyes dance and light up in wonder. When the green reflection faded from the brown orbs she was staring at she tightened her arms around the older woman and pulled her back against her. She buried her face in the long dark tresses that hung around the neck she so adored, inhaling the scent that, in this shared dream, was dull and barely there, but still perfect.

"Thank you for sharing this with me, Rey." Leia whispered.

"You're welcome. I never got to see it again. Circumstances being what they were, there was always something in the way, weather, scavenging, exhaustion. I am glad that I was able see it once."

"How old were you when you saw this?"

"Well, like I've told you, age is difficult for me, but I believe I was eleven or twelve."

Leia turned to face the younger woman, coming to her knees and bringing her hands up to caress her cheeks. "This is wonderful." She placed a gentle kiss to Rey's lips and slid her arms around her neck.

Rey held Leia close to her, not sure whether she wanted this to go any further yet. She had never been with anyone, and was unsure whether she was ready for that. Her knowledge of sex was only the things she had seen and heard from the traders on Jakku and she didn't want that with Leia. Somehow she would have to reconcile her desperate need to claim the older woman and her disgust at her own knowledge. She wasn't sure how to do that yet.

Pulling away from the General when she felt soft hands beneath her shirt, touching gently at the skin of her too thin stomach. She smiled tightly, eyes closed, and pressed her forehead against Leia's. "I'm sorry. I don't want my first time with you to be a dream, and I am not ready yet. I- please understand. I want you, so badly it hurts, but I am not ready for us to go that far yet."

"Rey, sweetheart," the older woman whispered softly, "look at me." She waited until she was looking into hazel orbs. "I will never force you to do anything that you are not ready for. I can wait as long as you need me to. As long as I have you, and I can kiss you," she placed a gentle kiss to Rey's forehead, "and hold you," she wrapped both arms around slim shoulders and pulled the young Jedi close, "then I have everything that I need. Even if you are never ready for us to be in a physical relationship, that is alright too. I just need you."

Rey had tears falling from her eyes as she reached up and brushed hair away from the face of the woman she loved. She may not have said those three powerful words aloud, but she knew them to be true. "Thank you."

They were both pulled from the dreamscape by a loud roar and an echoing bang coming from somewhere outside the caves. With barely a glance at each other, they flew for the cave entrance and stood, blaster and lightsaber in their respective hands, staring at the smoke rising from the base of the mountain. A First Order star destroyer lay in shambles, completely demolished.

"What the kriff happened?" Po and Finn came to stand at either side of Rey and Leia.

"That, Po, is a very good question. Gather a team, I want that destroyer searched and any survivors taken into custody. Rey, I am going to ask that you stay behind. I don't want to risk Kylo Ren or General Husk being on that ship and either of them finding you. Not until you have had more to eat and more sleep. Understood?"

"Yes, General." Po motioned to Finn and both took off to gather their team members and equipment.

Leia could see that Rey was confused about her orders but chose to say nothing until they had at least a little bit of privacy.

Rey turned and walked back to her own cave, hauling herself up onto her ledge, she opened her pack and pulled out a bracelet. She had started working on it several weeks prior, as a way to keep her hands busy and her mind off of Leia. It had become a habit for her to reach for it when she got too stressed out, or she was worried. Time was always lost to her when she was working with her hands.

"Again, Rey?"

Rey looked up into Leia's face and jumped down from her perch. "Tell me that you are not using our relationship as a reason to keep me away from danger."

"No, that isn't it at all. If I thought I could do that and get away with it, if you would let me, I would keep you as far away from this fight as possible, but no. I meant what I said before. You haven't been eating or sleeping well in the last few months. I want to get you in better shape before I send you on any missions. I don't want you to get hurt." She walked over and wrapped her arms around the slim stomach of her young Jedi. "I don't want you to get hurt, but I know that eventually you will. I can't stomach the thought that something might happen to you because I sent you away before you were in a good enough condition to take care of yourself."

Rey wrapped both arms around the General and hugged her tight. "It's ok. I'm not upset. I was confused, but not angry. I understand why you did it, but I had to be sure."

They stood like that for a long time before the younger of the two pulled away. "You should get some more sleep. I will stay up and keep watch."

"You need to sleep, too." Leia whispered.

"I will, but I need to see for myself if Po and Finn find anything. If there is anyone left alive on that ship, I will come and wake you."

Thank you, Sweetheart. Just don't forget to get some rest soon, alright?"

"I will, I promise."

Rey smiled to herself as she watched the General walk away, back towards the bed they had been sharing not even an hour ago. The woman was going to be the death of her if things moved to much further to quickly.

 _Did it work?_

 _What? Ben? What did you do?_

 _The destroyer! Did it crash?_

 _Yes it did. Right at the base of our mountain. What did you do to it?_

 _Pushed some buttons and set in a course. The crew was asleep._

 _You put them all to sleep and then crashed the destroyer into the planet?_

 _Yes. I told you I was going to be doing things that you would hear about._

 _BEN! I think the entire galaxy heard about it. I don't think I could have missed that message if I was dead._ Rey was laughing internally.

 _Good. That wasn't the only one I brought down. A good quarter of the fleet is in flames right now. Some crashed into various planets, others into each other. There should be reports of it coming in all over the galaxy. The First Order is almost crippled._

 _Really?_

 _Yes. I am not going to continue to allow the hurt that they have caused. Not after everything that we went through together._

Very suddenly, she was standing right in front of him in his rooms. He was shirtless again and he opened his arms to her. She threw his shirt at him and stepped towards him while he was sliding into it. "Don't worry, Rey." He wrapped both arms around her. "I promise I am being careful. They won't catch me, and even if they do, I have an escape plan."

"Just don't get yourself killed. You are my best friend. I don't know what I would do if I lost you, especially right after I got your mother back."

"I know that you and my mother are together again. I felt you drop your walls. I won't let you down, Rey. This contact won't last long though. You need to get back to your own body and I have to act like the angry Supreme Leader they all expect me to be. Be safe, Rey.

"You too. Be safe, Ben."

Suddenly, as if it never happened, Rey was standing back in her own cave. She ran out to the main entrance and stood there, watching the scouts crawl over the ship. Things were looking up she supposed. Her consciousness brushed over Leia's in her cave, making sure that she was resting well, before she sat, at the edge of the cave on a small cliffside, taking up her watch.


	8. Chapter 8

Rey wasn't sure how long she sat there before she saw Po and Finn approaching her. They were grinning like a couple of thieves who got away. They held each other's shoulders jostling each other back and forth.

"What did you hooligans get up to down there?" Rey asked, standing.

"Hooligans? I resent that." Po said, reaching out to hug her.

She accepted and hugged Finn as well. "We discovered even more rations on the ship. Most everyone down there is dead. Those that weren't, fled or are bringing brought up by the others. We will have to outfit one of the other caves with bars or some type of shield to keep them in." Finn explained.

"Is the shield generator on the destroyer still working?" Rey asked, her mind already thinking about how she could rewire it and out fit it to work in the caves to keep various prisoners in.

"Sure is. I figured you would be able to do something with it. It is being brought up with one of the later transports. Until then, I will stay and keep watch. You should go get some rest. Things here are going to get crazy very quickly. You are going to need all the rest you can get."

Rey nodded and bid them both goodnight headed towards her own cave, to sleep on her ledge, but paused before she started to climb. She shook her head. Should she go to Leia? Would the older woman be open to her climbing in bed with her? There was only one way to find out. She walked back out of her cave and across the system to Leia's. She sat down next to her and ran a gentle hand through her hair. It was only then that she remember her promise to wake the older woman if there were any survivors found. She placed a gentle hand on the General's shoulder and shook her awake.

"Rey?" the sleep addled voice melted the Jedi's heart. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." She reached up and pushed the long brown hair away from the woman's face. "There were survivors on the destroyer. I told you I would wake you." Leia moved to stand, but Rey placed a hand on her shoulder and held her in place. "Its okay. You don't need to get up. Po and Finn have it covered. They will come and get us if they have any problems. I just wanted to let you know that you have survivors to deal with when you are ready."

"Come to bed then." The older woman reached for the younger.

"Are you sure?"

Leia didn't respond. She simply pulled Rey to her and tucked the Jedi's head under her chin. The young woman curled her body around the older woman's and closed her eyes. It wasn't long before both women were pulled back into their shared dream and the heat of the desert planet that Rey grew up on.

oooOOOooo

When Leia woke next, she smiled softly. Rey's hair was tickling her neck and the young Jedi's head was pillowed on her chest. One leg thrown over her hips and fingers grasped tightly in the General's shirt. It wasn't until Leia looked down and saw the frown on the scavenger's face that she realized there was something wrong. Fear and desperation slammed into her mind like a ship into a wall. She rolled the younger woman onto her back and sat up next to her, shaking her shoulders, calling out to her, trying everything she could to wake her.

Rey was stuck, the Starkiller exploding and burning and collapsing around her. Everything was chaos and heat. The saber in her hand glowed brightly against her skin and the hilt was heavy in her palm. She looked at her hands, and dropped the weapon. She didn't remember this part of the memory. She couldn't fathom how she had ended up with so much blood covering her appendages. She shook her head and looked around.

"How could you?!" Leia's voice screamed at her. She turned around and the older woman was crouched over Ben's body, holding his head to her chest. "You killed him! You murdered him!"

"No, no I wouldn't! I wouldn't hurt him!" Rey whispered trying to figure out what was going on.

"You killed me." Ben's voice echoed in her mind. "You did this. It's all your fault."

"No. Please, no."

 _Rey_

"I didn't." She couldn't stop her hands as her lightsaber flew back into her waiting palm.

 _Rey!_

She fought with herself as the blade ignited.

 _REY!_

She woke and flew off the bed just as her hand swung the blade toward the older woman's neck. As she stumbled across the stone floor of the cave, her back met the wall and she slid down. The stone scratching and digging at her back as she made her way to the floor. Her entire body was shaking and the room around her was spinning. Her stomach rolled and lurched, and she had to fight with herself not to vomit.

Strong arms wrapped around her shoulders. She could smell Leia's hair and her distinct scent and clung to her. "I'm sorry." she whispered over and over again. She wasn't sure if she was still in her dreamscape or if everything around her was real. Her mind was addled and confused. So she clung to the one person in the room who she knew would make her safe.

 _REY!_

The young Jedi could hear the panic in her best friends voice and forced herself to calm down enough that she could communicate with him. _Ben. I'm scared. Help me, please._

 _Calm down, Rey. I saw everything. It was only a dream._

 _It felt too real. I thought I had killed you. I tried to kill your mother!_

 _No, you didn't. You were dreaming. You had a nightmare. We are both fine, I promise you. You didn't hurt either of us._

 _Thank you._

 _You're welcome. Now talk to my mother, she is getting upset._

"Rey, listen to me. You are fine. Can you hear me, Sweetheart. Come on, talk to me." Leia was rambling in her ear, fighting for her attention.

"Leia." Her voice sounded strained and rough even to her own ears. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to wake you."

"Rey, you never have to apologize for waking me. You were having a nightmare, you can't help that. I would never hold that against you. Look at me, Rey." Leia slid one hand underneath the chin of the younger woman and forced her to meet her eyes. "You never, never have to apologize for waking me, whether it is for a nightmare, a good dream, or you just need to be held. If you need me, wake me up. I promise you I will never get upset with you about it. Do you understand me?"

"Yes."

"Come back to bed. Let me hold you until we have to get up." The older woman pulled the younger up and led her back to the bed and pulled her down to her. "Tell me about the dream." she whispered once they had settled and she had her arms wrapped around the Jedi again.

Rey, hesitated a few moments before she told the story of what she had seen in her dream. Her voice cracked when she got the the part about killing Kylo Ren, and she shuddered violently when she told Leia about swinging the lightsaber towards the older woman.

"Rey, I know that you are hesitant about killing Be-Kylo Ren, but if there is no other way, then that is what has to be done. I love my son, I do not love Kylo Ren. I have accepted that my son is gone. I understand that there is no bringing him back from the Dark Side. You have to do what none of us can." Leia ran her fingers through the younger woman's hair, contemplating her son's recent decisions.

 _I guess that settles that doesn't it?_

 _Ben, she doesn't know that you are helping us. When she finds out that you are the one who gave us all of the supplies, and brought down all of those ships, she will change her mind._

 _You seem very certain of that._

 _Because I am. Honestly, I believe that she will welcome you back with open arms. I am more worried about what she is going to do to me when she finds out that I have been collaborating with you this entire time._

 _Don't worry about that. I won't let anyone hurt you. If they try, you and I will leave together and they won't have a say in it. We can fight them if we have to. Between the two of us, I promise you will be fine._

 _Thanks, Ben._

 _You're welcome, Rey_


	9. Chapter 9

_REY! We have a problem._

It was several weeks after the ship had crashed and Rey was on her knees in front of the panel she had smashed on the _Falcon_ when they had first landed on Hypori, rewiring the new panel and soldering the mechanisms into place. She was using her knife to strip a wire when Ben's shout echoed through her head. She jumped and her knife slipped, slicing through the skin of her palm. She hissed in pain and grabbed a rag from the floor next to her to wrap around the wound.

 _Damn it, Ben! Don't do that!_

 _Sorry. But Hux has decided he is going to investigate the crash sights._

 _But, that means he is coming here. You couldn't stop him?_

 _I tried, but there is only so much I can do without giving myself away. I couldn't deny his logic so I had to let him go._

 _Kriff. What are we going to do?_

 _You have to tell my mother to be ready._

 _I thought we agreed that we weren't going to tell your mother about our connection? How do you propose I inform her about a legion of First Order coming after us?_

 _It's hardly a legion. There will only be one ship investigating the Hypori crash. I would advise you stay hidden, watch from afar. Otherwise you will be forced to flee and find somewhere else to lay low._

 _I will see what I can do, but I am still not sure how to tell your mother. What should I tell her when she asks how I know about this?_

 _I don't know, Rey, but you have to come up with something._

 _Alright. I will let you know how it goes. When should we expect them to be here?_

 _2 days at the most. Be careful._

 _I will._

Rey stood from where she had been kneeling and left the _Falcon_ , and immediately went to find Leia. She gripped the towel around her hand, trying to stem the flow of blood. Moving quickly through the caves, it wasn't long before she found the older woman, standing at a table, bent over a crude map of the area. Her hair was braided down her back, and small tendrils escaped their confines to tickle her face. The glow of the light bars that had been installed filtered through the loose strands and highlighted her face in just the perfect way to take the younger woman's breath away.

"Leia," she breathed the name.

Leia's head snapped up and she smiled. Her eyes scanning the young woman's face and caught on her hand. "Rey!" she gasped. "What happened?"

Small hands reached out and took the towel from around the calloused fingers of her young love. She unwrapped the hand that Rey had injured and pulled her closer. She pulled a first aid kit from beneath the table and opened it to find the cleaning cloths.

"What happened, Sweetheart?"

"I cut myself," She whispered. Her mind was entirely focused on Leia's fingers very softly moving over her hand and wrist, gently cleaning the wound and applying a sealing strip to keep it closed before reaching for a bandage to cover it and protect it from tearing.

"I can see that much, but how?"

"I was stripping a wire and my hand slipped. I needed to rewire the panel I broke." Her voice was soft as she watched the older woman stroke the inside of her wrist. "It was an accident."

"I didn't think you had done this on purpose. Was this why you were looking for me?"

"No. There is a First Order ship on its way here to investigate the Destroyer crash." Rey looked at the older woman in front of her and watched her eyes grow hard.

"When?"

"Two days, maybe. We need to be ready for their arrival, in case we have to fight."

Leia frowned. Something about the younger woman's demeanor was off. It was very subtle but she could sense that the Jedi was hiding something from her.

"Rey, how do you know about this? Our sensors haven't picked up anything."

Rey bit her lip. She couldn't say anything about Ben or their connection, so she had to lie, but she hated lying to the older woman. Damnit, Leia was never going to forgive her for this, and that alone was enough to tear her heart from her chest.

"Please, Leia, I am asking you to trust me. I know they are coming. Please."

"Rey, I am going to need a little more from you than just asking me to trust you. You know that I trust you with my life and the life of this entire resistance, but I can't just tell everyone to prepare for an attack that I have no proof of."

Rey stopped. She no idea what to do. She had to convince this woman that she knew what she was talking about without giving away her source. Perhaps, instead of coming to Leia, she should have gone to Po and Finn instead. She was certain that they would have done what she asked without question. Right now though, the only thing she could do was gape at the older woman. She hadn't really considered that Leia wouldn't actually believe her if she asked her to.

The General stood watching the Jedi flounder. She was well aware that there was something incredibly important that Rey was hiding from her, she wouldn't push her to tell, but she wished that the young woman would trust her and know that no matter what, she would always stand by her.

"I can't tell you how I know."

That certainly wasn't the response the older woman expected. She shook her head. Clearly, Rey still had problems trusting her. She couldn't really blame her, not after what Leia had done, but it hurt her to know that part of the young Jedi was still withdrawn from her.

"Then I can't just order people to their battle stations. I will not have this entire base on edge and jumpy simply because you have a hunch. I will keep my ears open for the alarms, but I will not have the resistance panic for a reason that I wouldn't be able to give them, because you won't give it to me."

Rey nodded. "Right, because my word isn't a good enough reason to alarm everyone here. I get it."

"That isn't-"

"It's alright. I'll just go back to what I was doing before I bothered you. I'll see you later." Rey waved off any further comments from the woman she loved and walked from the small cavern in a daze. There was nothing more to be said.

"You okay, Rey?" Po and Finn were both standing in front of her, looking a little concerned.

"Of course. I'm fine. Just a bad conversation with the General. Listen, something big is going to happen in two days. I can't tell you what, or how I know, just be ready for it, okay? The general isn't going to tell you about it, but you need to be prepared anyway." Rey didn't wait for a response from them, just walked back to the _Falcon_ to finish her job for the day. She wasn't quite sure how she was going to hide the ship from the incoming First Order, but she would think of something.

 _Well, that didn't work, did it?_

 _You know, Ben, spying on me is not nice._

 _I know, but we both needed to know what she was going to say. What are you going to do, Rey?_

 _I don't know, Ben. I think I will have to lay low for a while. I can't give your mother any more hints about anything. She is starting to get too suspicious. Not to mention this hint was a bit out there. I had no reason to know when the ships will be here._

 _I agree. We need to keep our conversations between ourselves for a few months at lease._

 _What am I going to say to her later? She is still going to question me about my knowledge of the First Order's movements._

 _I would avoid her for a couple days, but then, I'm not sleeping with her. So I don't have an answer for you._

 _Great, something else I have to figure out on my own. Thanks, Ben._

 _I have faith in you, Rey. You will be fine._

Rey sat cross-legged on the floor in the room of the _Falcon_ that she had used for the journey to Hypori. She braced her elbows on her knees and her dropped her face into her hands. Why did nothing between the two of them ever go right? Why did things have to be so difficult between them? How was she going to face Leia tomorrow knowing that the older woman knew she was keeping secrets from her?

"You know, I'm beginning to think that I was right about Jedis and their tendency to run away." Leia's soft voice came from the doorway. "Every time things seem to be getting awkward or a little stressful between us, you run off and find somewhere to hide."

"It's a good thing that you can always figure out where to find me then, isn't it?" Rey whispered back. "I'm sorry. I don't want to make you upset and lose you again. I can't lose you again, Leia. I don't think my heart would survive it."

The older woman moved towards her Jedi and sat in front of her. She took the young woman's face in her hands and angled her head so she could look into her eyes. Without saying anything, she leaned in and pressed her lips to the soft, full mouth that her thumbs caressed the corners of. She lingered for only a moment before pulling away, keeping their foreheads pressed together.

Rey didn't open her eyes when Leia pulled back from the kiss. She just allowed herself to enjoy the older woman's touch and relished in the feeling of finger sliding into her her hair and gently massaging her scalp. She couldn't help the groan that escaped her lips when long fingernails scratched lightly at the base of her skull.

"Rey," the name came out on a whisper as Leia rose, helping the younger woman stand and led her back into the caves. When they reached the room they had been sharing for the last few days, Leia turned and shoved a swinging metal door closed over the gaping hole that acted as their door. "I know that you are scared, Rey, but I promise you, I will not leave you. No matter what you think may happen, I will always be here for you. You must understand that, because you can't keep running from me. Please, tell me you know that I am not going to make that mistake again."

"I know that, in my head, Leia, but can you tell me how to convince my heart of that? I've been abandoned by everyone I ever cared for. I can't change a lifelong habit, one that has served me so well, for so long, in just a couple of days. I got really good at keeping to myself when things got hard and now I have to try and change that, but I don't know how. You will have to be patient with me, give me time to try and change that, and understand that I really am trying."

"I know that you are trying, Sweetheart. I see it everytime you come find me. Earlier, when you let me look at your hand, I saw it. I see it every night, when we lay in bed together and you hold me. I just wish you would stop running from me."

Rey stepped towards the woman she loved and placed her hands on her arms. "I'm sorry. I will try harder. I will, I promise."

Leia curled herself against the taller woman's chest and felt two strong arms go around her, holding her close against the firm body that she craved. "Why can't you tell me how you know about the First Order?"

"Leia…" Rey breathed her name in exasperation. "I can't tell you how I know."

"I understand that. What I want to know is why you can't tell me. Is it because you don't trust me? Or do you feel like I may compromise something?"

"NO! No, it's nothing like that. I wish I could tell you, I really do, but the less people that know about it, the safer everyone is. It has nothing to do with you, I promise." The young Jedi stroked Leia's cheek. "I would tell you if I could."

"I put the base on alert."

"What? Why?"

"Well, if I don't, and what you said turns out to be true, then I just cost the lives of my people. If I do, and you really don't know what you are talking about, then no one is hurt, but there will be a lot of confused people that you will have to explain this to if you are wrong." The General pressed herself towards her younger love and tightened her hands around the slim waist. "I hope, for your sake, that you are not wrong."

"I'm not." Rey leaned down and pressed her nose against Leia's neck. "This is going to happen, but I don't think we should try and fight back. We don't have enough fire power right now to take on the first order. We are still recovering from the Battle of Crait. We don't have enough ships or blasters to hold our own right now. They would slaughter us."

"I agree. We can't defend ourselves against them right now."

The two women stood there, holding each other and considering the problem they now faced. Rey tightened her arms around her general, not willing to let her go, or move away yet. It was the middle of the day, and neither of them was tired enough to go to bed, so they simply stood there, enjoying each others embrace and the heat that passed between them, entirely oblivious to the outside world for a long time.

When Rey finally pulled away, it was to press her forehead against Leia's and and curl her fingers into the thick hair and the base of the other woman's neck. Neither spoke as Leia's hands travelled up from the slim waist to the strong shoulders of her Jedi, dragging her fingernails against the bare skin of her arms. Rey hissed softly, gently rubbing her nose against her general's.

 **She's mine.** Leia thought possessively. **I don't care what happens, I will not lose her.**

 _ **Leia,**_ Rey's mind brushed against hers and spoke directly to her. _**I am not going anywhere. I am yours. I always have been, since the moment we met.**_

 _ **Then promise me you will stay safe. I know you, Rey. I know you are planning something for when the First Order arrives, just promise that you won't do anything foolish.**_

 _ **You know that I can't promise that. All of us are putting our lives at risk fighting this war. I am no different than the rest of them.**_

 _ **Yes, you are. I-**_

 _ **No. I am the same. You, you are special. The galaxy needs General Organa and Princess Leia. Most people barely know I even exist. I may be special to you. I may be important to a few people, but to the universe as a whole, I am no one important. So it is my job, my only goal in life, to keep you safe. If it means giving up my own life, to ensure that you remain unharmed, then so be it.**_ Rey thought vehemently.

She would not allow anything to happen to the woman that she was so desperately in love with. She pressed her mouth tightly to Leia's determined to make her see, to make her understand how much more important her well being was. She poured every feeling she carried, happiness, joy, fear, anger, desperation, all of it went into that single kiss, stealing away their air and their thoughts for long moments.

 _ **Rey, please. Just promise me you will be careful. I have kept you from too many missions and scouting parties as it is, trying to help you get better, and more healthy, that I can not keep you from this. Please promise you will be careful. Come back to me, my darling.**_

 _ **I will do everything I can to ensure that I return to you, but this conversation is a little early anyway. I think, right now, you have some plans to make with the rest of the resistance and I need to find somewhere to hide the**_ _Falcon_ _ **. We will discuss this more tonight.**_

They parted ways reluctantly. Leia, returning to her meeting and Rey going back to the ship. Rey, no matter what Leia thought, had no intentions of putting herself in any real danger, but she was going to be down near the ship when it landed. She was going to make sure that the First Order didn't get anywhere near her family and friends.


	10. Chapter 10

Two days later, everyone was on edge. Rey was awake early that morning and warming up her body in order to be ready for what she was planning. She moved through her practice steps slowly, keeping form in mind before speed. It didn't take long before she felt Leia's arms sliding around her waist and holding her close. She turned and looked down at the older woman. Her hands framed the General's face and brushed her hair away from the beautiful brown eyes she adored.

"Leia," she whispered the name softly, almost like a plea, before leaning down and pressing her mouth against the older woman's.

Leia wasted no time in wrapping her arms around Rey's neck and dragging her back to the bed with her and pulling her down on top of her, straddling her hips. She trusted Rey to tell her when she was ready, but that didn't mean that they couldn't be comfortable for a little while longer. Her fingers tangled in the shoulder length hair and she pressed herself closer, needing to feel the younger woman, knowing without a doubt, that all of their lives were going to be in danger today. A loud groan escaped her throat when Rey's teeth sank into her lower lip and her tongue dragged across the wound, begging for permission to enter. Leia gave it willingly, giving herself over to the feelings of desperation and need that she felt every time Rey kissed her.

Rey knew what she wanted, and this time, she didn't hesitate. Her hands slid under Leia's night shirt and up over the soft curve of her stomach and the the gentle swell of her ribcage. She needed the older woman, needed to feel her skin, knowing that touching her, kissing her, would chase away the uncontrollable terror that was twisting her gut. Dragging her mouth away from the the elder's lips she kissed and bit her way across the strong jaw to the sensitive spot behind her ear. She lingered for a moment, letting her hands slide their way to defined hips and squeezing gently. She felt Leia roll her hips against her thigh in response, and groaned softly.

"I love you, Leia." The younger woman whispered into the shell of the older woman's ear.

Leia froze. Her heart hammering in her ears and joy bubbling up from within her. It spilled out her eyes and dripped into her hair as she stared up at her young love. "Oh Rey." her voice cracked as she spoke. "I love you, too."

"Why the tears?"

"Because even Han never told me he loved me. He always said, 'I know'. I haven't heard those words since my parents died." Leia leaned forward and pressed her face into Rey's shoulder. The younger woman rolled them both over and held the elder until her tears were spent.

"That," she whispered into the long hair of her soon-to-be lover, "will not be the last time you hear me say those words. I promise you that."

This time, it was Leia's turn to straddle the young woman and kiss her within and inch of her life. She needed the younger woman, needed to know that she was there, solid and warm. Her fingers traced the hem of the Jedi's lose shirt and she was shocked when fingers wrapped around her wrist and guided her hand beneath the cloth and over soft flesh, giving her permission to touch, to explore where she wanted. Tongues battled for dominance and teeth bit gently on lips. She caught Rey's tongue as it entered her mouth and sucked, hard. She felt the body beneath her own arch strongly off the bed and hands found her hips again squeezing and releasing rhythmically.

Leia's own hands, seemed to have developed a mind of their own. They traveled the flat expanse of Rey's stomach slowly, leaving trails of fire in their wake, scoring every so often with her nails, and making the young woman groan. She couldn't get enough of how the Jedi responded to her touch and took her time to memorize every curve and swell and all the places that made her move or groan. It took only minutes for Leia to decide that the shirt was decidedly in her way. Without breaking contact with the younger woman, she pulled the both into a seated position, and yanked at the cloth. She wanted it gone, but wouldn't force her.

Not that she needed to. Within seconds Rey had stripped her shirt over her head and reconnected their lips. Leia gasped in surprise when her hands met the bare expanse of Rey's back. Her hands hadn't explored far enough up her front to realize that the young woman's breasts, had been left unbound. She groaned to herself, and laid her back on the bed, coming over her and pulling away to stare down into the bright brown eyes before her, silently asking the question that was floating through her mind.

 _ **Yes.**_ was the only response she got.

Much later, they lay entwined on the bed. Lingering touches and gentle kisses to various parts of their cooling bodies kept the outside world from intruding on their silence. Neither had bothered to redress, not wanting to lose the intimate skin to skin contact between them, even though they knew that things were going to happen rapidly in the next couple of hours. It came as no surprise when there was a clang on the metal door.

"General, we have picked up two First Order ships headed this way. Looks like Rey was right after all." Po's voice was muffled slightly by the door, but they both heard him and they both launched into action.

As she pulled her hair back into a braided bun Leia called out, "How far out are they?"

"Two, maybe three hours at the most. We need to get busy. What are your orders?"

Rey was finishing tying her arm bands and grabbed up her lightsaber as she headed to the door, only to be stopped by a hand on her arm.

"My orders are the same as they were two days ago, Dameron. We lay low in the caves and we don't draw attention to ourselves. Hopefully, we can keep them from discovering us. Make sure that everything is moved into the back of the system and that the people stay away from the cave openings. We can't afford to be seen." Leia snapped through the door.

"Of course, General. I will make sure that it is done." Po's voice echoed back.

"Leia, I have to go. We talked about this. I-"

"I know. Just promise me you will be careful. Please, please promise me."

"I will be careful. I love you, Leia. Stay safe, for me." Without waiting for a response she moved out the door and was gone.


	11. Chapter 11

Rey was seated in a high branch of one of the trees near the crash sight. She watched as the two ships came into land, and immediately recognized one of them. Ben was here. Why in the kriff had he come? She watched as the few people who would be investigating the crash made their way off the ship, immediately recognizing General Hux's bright red hair, and Ben's dark helmet. She listened carefully to what was being shouted between them.

"Spread out. I want the entire area searched. I want to know why this ship crashed and who was responsible." Ben's voice snapped. Hux nodded and began shouting orders to the other men and the stormtroopers standing around. "Hux," he snapped.

"Yes, Supreme Leader?"

"You have failed me at all of the other crash sights. Make sure this isn't another failure, or it will be your last." Ben growled.

Rey couldn't help but feel the tiny twinge of fear at those words. Silently, she dropped from her perch on the branch and slid further back into the forest, not wanting to be discovered.

 _Rey, what are you doing?_

 _Well, that much should be obvious. I'm making sure that none of these idiots venture near the caves. Particularly Hux._

 _Just be careful and don't get seen. I have no way of keeping you safe if you get caught._

 _I doubt I will get caught, Ben. No offense, but your people aren't exactly the smartest group I have ever met._

 _No doubt. Either way, just be careful. Hux may not act like it, but he is highly intelligent and he will kill you if he has the chance. If he doesn't do something worse first. I have heard stories-_

 _I don't want to know. I really don't, but that is why I have to be out here. I can't let anyone like that near your mother. I would die before I let someone hurt her like that._

 _I understand. Just make sure you don't get hurt, or I will be forced to blow my cover and help you._

 _I will. Stay safe, Ben._

 _You too._

Their connection shut off, Rey turned her attention back to what was going on in front of her. People were moving in and out of the downed ship, searching for any sign of a reason for the crash. She knew they would come up empty handed. They had searched that ship from top to bottom, and Po, Finn and even Rose, now that she was completely recovered, had been unable to come up with anything.

Back up into a tree she went, to wait out this search party. She was barely paying attention to anything that was going on anymore as the stormtroopers moved back into the ship hours later, when a hand grabbed her ankle.

"Well, well, well, won't the Supreme Leader be please when he sees what I have caught spying on us."

It was the one person that Ben had told her to watch out for. Hux had found her. Rey swore internally and reached for her lightsaber, intent on cutting his hand off for touching her, but found a blaster pointed at her head.

"Don't even think about it. Now, why don't you climb down from there and we can have a nice little chat, hmm? I think it's time you and I spent some time getting to know one another." the leer in his eyes made her gag, but she had no choice but to climb down from the tree and stand in front of him.

She anticipated his next move, shoving her back against the tree. His hand fisting in her shirt in an attempt to rip it open, started the struggle between them. His fist connected with the side of her head, and sent her reeling. She landed sprawled out on the ground, and in seconds he was on top of her. Her hand grabbed for anything she could reach and closed around a large rock, which she immediately brought against his temple. His hands left the tie of her pants as he flew from above her to lay on his side, clutching his head. Rey scrambled for the blaster, her lightsaber having fallen from her belt, and just as she grabbed hold of it, she felt a hand around her ankle drag her back wards.

"You bitch!" Hux screamed at her. He threw himself over her and reached for her throat, but his hands never made. The blaster went off and caught Hux in the middle of his chest. He fell next to her, dead. Strangled noises came from her throat, as she kept the blaster aimed at him. She was suddenly recalling all of the things that she had seen done to other women on Jakku and could hardly breathe.

She panicked when strong arms wrapped around her, and struggled against them, mindlessly fighting against the unknown person who was restraining her.

"Rey, it's me. It's Ben. You're ok." The words slowly penetrated her consciousness and she turned to look at her best friend. He was not wearing his mask. "Let go of the blaster. It's ok. Let go, Rey." her fingers released the weapon into his waiting hand, where he threw it to the side. "Did he hurt you?"

Rey shook her head. "No. He tried, but I shot him."

"Good. It saves me the trouble of killing him later. You're bleeding."

The Jedi glanced down and realized that her side was covered in blood and it burned. "I don't know what happened. I didn't even realize…" her voice was becoming faint even to her own ears. "Ben…"

The young man barely had time to register his friends eyes fluttering closed, before she fainted. He caught her against his chest and lifted her easily into his arms. Quickly weighing his options, he realised that if he took her back to the First Order ship, then she would be thrown in a cell, and he would have no choice but to treat her as a prisoner of war, but if he took her back to his mother, let her people see that he was on their side, then the First Order would be left hanging, without himself or Hux to lead them. It would be the perfect opportunity for the Resistance to finish their attacks, with ships that he could provide, and finish the war once and for all. The only problem, he would end up the prisoner. And there would be nothing that he could do to convince anyone that he was actually there to help them, at least, not until Rey woke up. He didn't have a lot of time to make his decision, not that it was a difficult one to make.

Reaching out with the force, he summoned her lightsaber and headed for the caves, intent on persuading his mother to listen to him and believe that he was on her side. That he had been on her side since right after the battle of Crait. He had a lot of explaining to do, starting with what happened between himself and Luke Skywalker.

He hurried into their cave system and shouted out for help. "MOTHER! Someone! Help!"

Leia heard her son call out to her. She didn't hesitate as she ran into the main cave to find him standing there, cradling the woman she loved against his chest as if she were to most precious thing in the world to him. "What happened?" she snapped at him, not quite willing to trust his word on it but needing to know.

"She was caught by Hux. He-He tried to rape her. She shot him. I don't know how she sustained this injury. Even she wasn't able to tell me before she passed out."

Po stepped forward, blaster aimed at Ben's head. "Why would she tell you anything? You tried to kill her."

"You're right, I did. I've tried to kill all of you at one point or another, except one. But she trusted me. She let go of the blaster and told me everything, but she couldn't tell me how she had been injured." He passed her to Finn, who had cleared everything off of a table and laid her down on it. Free of his burden, he raised his hands. "If you would like, you may take my lightsaber and hers, both are on my belt."

Leia watched her son, suspicion in her eyes, before it dawned on her. "YOU! You are the reason she knew so much about the movements of the First Order. You have been feeding her information from your side."

"Le-ia", a barely audible whisper came from the table and the older woman turned, seeing her lover reaching for her. She couldn't bring herself to walk to her. The betrayal she felt, the hurt and conflicting emotions kept her in place. "Please. I trust him."

Ben was at her side in less than a second. "Rey, hold on. Finn is going to help you."

Rose came careening in from another cave carrying several bacta-patches and other miscellaneous first aid equipment. With everything that Ben had given them Rey would be fine in a few hours, or so they hoped.

"I don't think she has lost too much blood." Finn said. "I think the shock, and relief, of the fight, coupled with, what I am sure is an excruciating wound, is what caused her to lose consciousness. She is lucky."

Leia, hearing that Rey would be fine, turned and walked away. She sat on her bed, staring at the pillows and blankets, still a mess from their passionate love-making only hours before, and now, she was so hurt, so angry that she could barely breathe.

Ben followed his mother. "She wanted to tell you." He said, standing at the entrance to the cave. "She wanted so badly to tell you that I was on your side, that it was tearing her apart. I don't think she would have lasted more than a few more days without telling you."

"Is that supposed to help? She had a nightmare, just a few weeks ago, and I told her that she would have to kill you, and she just LAID THERE! She didn't say anything to me about it! She AGREED with me." LEia stormed around her room, not wanting to sit down any longer and unable to face her son.

"I know. I saw her dream, and heard your conversation."

"How?"

"Our minds are bound. Snoke claimed that it was his doing, but I find that hard to believe considering our bond only got stronger when he was killed. It is because of that, that I was able to pass her information that I thought would be useful to you. I suggested Hypori as a new hide out for you. I left the rations you needed here, before you ever landed here. I have several drop ships coming in with more supplies, several fighters, and a rather large cache of weapons that should be here in the next few hours. I hadn't told her that part yet. I was going to tell her to expect it, after the search had left."

"So you have been responsible for all of our good fortune recently?" Po was standing right behind him, his blaster lowered and staring at the former Supreme Leader.

"You have been the one helping us?" Leia whispered.

"Yes." Ben answered softly.

"Who was it you didn't try to kill?" Po asked.

"I could have. I had the shot, and the time, but I couldn't take it. I couldn't kill you, Mother." He whispered.

"But you could kill your father?" She snapped back.

"And what kind of father was he? He was around for maybe seven days at a time, often gone for years. He never told you he loved you. He used you, and was nothing but a disappointment to us both. I once told Rey, when she was in awe of him and ready to lay down her life to protect the only father figure she knew, that she would have been disappointed, I wasn't lying. Besides, if I hadn't killed him, you wouldn't have Rey now." Ben snapped and Leia lowered her head.

"I loved your father." She hissed.

"I didn't. I held no love for a man that I only saw 5 times growing up, before I was dumped with Luke, your brother, who then tried to kill me only a few years later." Ben whispered.

"You're lying. Luke would never have done anything to hurt you."

"Yes, well. You will always think that I am lying when it comes to your precious brother. Why don't you ask Rey, when she wakes up. He told her everything." He growled. Pushing himself off the wall of the cave, he left the room, grabbing a chair as he went, and placing it next to the table where Rey was laying. He took her hand and held on, needing the support from his best friend, wishing that she was awake for him to talk to.

"You saved her life." Finn said, walking up to him. "Thank you. She means a lot to all of us." Finn held out his hand. "I can't say that I will ever fully trust you, but I can shake your hand and admit that we were all wrong about you."

"You heard that conversation, then?" Ben asked, accepting the hand and shaking it firmly.

"Then entire resistance heard it. You are going to face some serious shit amongst the Resistance, but I will stand by you, so long as you continue to help." Finn answered.

"Well, then, looks like you;ve got yourself two friends among us Resistance fighters." Po offered his own hand, allowing Ben to shake it.

"Thank you, but right now, I just want to be alone." Both of the other men nodded and walked away.


	12. Chapter 12

When Rey came to, her back ached and she tried to stretch, only to groan at the stretching of skin across her left side.

"You shouldn't do that."

Gasping she sat straight up, wincing in pain as she did so. "Ben, what happened? Where are we?"

"The Resistance base. I brought you here after you passed out."

"But, your, what about…"

"I know. I told my mother about our connection. She is, of course, furious with us both. I thought that it was a better idea than taking you back to the First Order ship and having to treat you as a prisoner."

 _How long have I been out?_

 _A couple of hours. It's only just nightfall._

 _Ben, without you and Hux…_

 _Yes, this is the perfect time for the Resistance to strike back against the First Order. There is a vacuum of power in place right now, and no one is leading anyone. Po and Finn have already figured that much out and they are plotting a strategy with my mother. There is a large freight ship coming in with fighters, weapons, supplies, to be left here for future needs. Anything they bring, was meant for the Resistance anyway. It should be plenty to bring the rest of the First Order to their knees. My mother is already thinking about ways to go about building the New Republic._

 _That sounds like her. Where is she? I want to see her._

 _Her room I believe, going over the plan that Finn and Po came up with._

 _Thanks._ Rey slid, slowly off the table and felt the cool air against her chest. Turning her face upwards to fight off tears, she pulled her shirt more tightly around herself, so that she was completely covered.

 _Rey, be careful, talking to my mother. She is truly angry at both of us._

 _I will._

She headed for Leia's room. She was there, sitting on her bed, staring at maps and plans that had scribbled writing in the corners. She didn't hear when Rey came in until the younger woman was right in front of her. When she looked up, the Jedi was unprepared for the fury in her eyes.

"What do you want?" the General hissed.

"Leia-"

"NO. No, you lied to me, you had me convinced that my son, MY SON, was unsavable. Do you even know how much that betrayal hurts? How much I want nothing more than to turn back the clock and stop myself from running to your room to wake you from that blasted nightmare? How could you do this to me, Rey?" Leia brushed past her. Her blood pounding in her ears and icy hatred running through her veins.

"I wanted to tell you. I did, but Ben said-"

"I don't kriffing care what Ben said. You should have trusted me to help you keep my son safe. I would have done ANYTHING to help, but instead you lied. You used my trust to keep your secret. You played on my love of my son. That day, on the _Falcon_ were you already in contact with him when you accused me of not caring?"

Rey hung her head in shame. "Yes."

SMACK! The sound echoed through the cave system and had several people running to the door, Ben among them, standing at the back of a rather large group.

"I don't care where you go, or what you do, but I want you gone. The Resistance will no longer have anything to do with you, Jedi. Take the _Falcon_ and whatever supplies you think you may need, but I want you gone by sun up."

Rey stood stock-still, her hand on her cheek and tears flowing from her eyes. She couldn't believe what had just happened. Her mind struggled to make sense of the fact that her lover had just slapped her and told her to leave. After everything they had said to each other just that morning, she couldn't fathom this. Her words from earlier floated back into her mind.

"Leia," she whispered softly. "I made you a promise this morning. I intend to keep it." Using the force she slammed the large metal door between the two of them, and their audience. She stalked up to the older woman whose hand flew out to trike her again, but her wrist was caught in Rey's gentle hold. "I promised you, that this morning would not be the last time you heard those words, and it won't be. If I have to send you daily transmissions, I will, but I will never let you forget that I love you, Leia. No matter how angry you get, I will always, **always** , love you. I know you want me to leave. I will be gone within the hour, but never forget how much you mean to me." rey released the older woman's hand, turned, and walked out the door, sliding it back open with the force and pushing her way past the people gathered there.

 _Rey! Wait! You aren't actually going to leave are you?_

 _I am only doing what your mother wishes. I am leaving because she asked it of me, Ben. What else can I do?_

 _I'm coming with you._

 _No! No I need you to stay here. You are the only one with enough knowledge of the First Order's movements to see everyone through the end of this war. I can't take you with me, not when I know that you being here could save her life._

 _But what about you?_

 _I will be fine. Please, just take care of your mother. I need to know that she is taken care of. You are the only one I trust to do that._

 _I will. Don't take the_ _ **Falcon**_ _, Rey. Take my ship. It's unmarked so they won't suspect that you are me. It will see you through the First Order space without problems._

 _Thanks, Ben. I will. Tell Chewie to take care and let Po and Finn know that I will be fine. I don't really intend to make my exit a grand one._

 _I will. Take care of yourself._

 _Hey, I'm a thief and a scavenger, and I have a lightsaber. I'll be fine._

Rey had been packing while she spoke to Ben. there wasn't much for her to take with her. Grabbing her staff, her pack, and clipping her lightsaber to her belt, she paused when she reached for her jacket. Deciding quickly that she wasn't going to take it, she headed to the cave that held all of the rations and first aid kits. She grabbed a couple of things she might need for injuries, and plenty of rations to see her back to Jakku, and turned. She headed for the cave entrance.

She was well down the side of the mountain and heading for the forest, where she knew Ben's ship had landed when she thought she heard her name being called. Glancing back up, she saw Ben, Po, Finn, Rose, and Chewie all standing in the opening of the cave, waving to her. She couldn't keep the tears from her eyes as she waved back and turned to go.

Leia ran to the cave entrance, intent on asking the younger woman to stay. She could forgive this in time, but just stay. She screamed her name, from the cliff, but Rey never turned, too far for the sound to reach her. Ben, considered for a moment telling rey that his mother wanted her to return but remembering the image of the young woman's steadily blackening eye, physical damage from his mother hitting her, stopped him. If his mother wanted Rey to return, she would have to find a way to get her back herself.

Rey reached the Ship and started the engines. Things were going to be a lot different now. She still had Ben, though, and with that thought in mind, took off, headed back to the beginning of her story, maybe forever.

 _ **END**_

 _ **For Now**_


End file.
